A Deck Of Cards
by toonmili
Summary: Lily, Severus and James. What happened between them all those years ago.
1. Chapter 1

**STORY:** A DECK OF CARDS.

**SUMMARY:** It's Valentine's Day and Lily has a tough choice to make; James or Severus. Vote for your favorite. I will write accordingly.

**DISCLAIMER:** I am not the owner of Harry Potter. The whole idea belongs to JK Rowling and I am just borrowing it.

On the morning of February 13th, Lily Evans woke up to the sound of quiet giggling. This was not uncommon as the four girls she shared a room with happened to be the silliest girls one could possibly imagine. They giggled for everything; poor grade, bad dates, boys and the odd occasion when something actually funny occurred. However this particular high pitched giggle was reserved for conversation about guys.

Lily lay quietly on the bed so they wouldn't know she was awake. From the corner of her eye she could see that they were wearing their finest Red and Gold jumpers. That day just happened to be a Quidditch day, which meant that the girls acted sillier than usual. She listened to their conversation for a while.

"I heard their playing Robbie Keane since Bent is out with that fractured skull," Victoria Adams said gloomily.

"I head James telling Sirius that he reckons he's faking it. Poor bloke was scared for life," Emma explained taking a seat on one of the four poster beds.

"That idiot Pakinson must be real pleased with himself. That whole Slytherine lot could just vanish to the Sahara is you ask me."

They all nodded in agreement.

Victoria suddenly got a bright look in her eyes, the kind she got when she received a particularly juicy piece of gossip. "Do you think James will do it? Odds are 10 t0 1 that he'll chicken out."

"What's Potter going to do now?" asked Lily sitting up at last. "Why Dumbledore thought it was a good idea to make him a prefect I'll never know."

The girls turned to look at her. "You're awake."

"I guess," she said leaving her bed. "What's Potter up to?"

They looked at each other and smiled. "Well, haven't you heard?" asked Melinie Brown.

She shook head. The looks on their faces were beginning to scare her.

"He says he's publicly going to announce his undying love for you before the match."

"WHAT," her face was already turning red with embarrassment.

Emma seemed to be enjoying it immensely. "He also said when he catches the snitch he's going to transfigure it into a heart and have it follow you around to remind you of his love for you."

Lily sat on the bed feeling her cheeks burning. "Why me," she cried.

"Why not me?" replied Victoria.

They gathered around her all smiling. "Oh, don't fuss Lily, no one thinks, he's going to do it."

"Exactly how many people know about this?"

"Only the Gryffindors, a couple of Revenclaws, and a handfull of Huffelpuffs," Emma explained.

"And I think I heard Bellatrix form Slytherin making a joke about it to that slime ball Serverus," added Victoria.

Lilly passed her hand through her hair. "So the whole school knows and no one thought about telling me."

They giggled at this again.

Lily sighed. "That's it; I'm not going watch the match. I'll patrol the corridors or something."

James never exactly hid his feeling for her but if did what he planned to do no one would let her hear the end of it. She couldn't stand the thought of people teasing her about James, especially when he was the last person she would ever consider dating.

Lily Evans sat in the empty Potions class rooms listening to the loud cheers coming form the Quidditch match. She hated to miss a match but she had to. How could she possibly go after what she heard? James Potter had a way of ruining things for her.

She looked up at the ceiling letting the tension in her back ease away. There was something very comforting about the classroom. All the ingredients and potions book made her feel like there was no problem in the world she couldn't find a solution to whipping up cauldron of some potion. As the years went on she was beginning to feel like this was less true. Was there such a thing as an 'out of love' potion? If she could make a batch of that and slip it to James it would be the best day of her life. She flipped trough her copy of Advanced Potions and stopped at Felix Felicis. She always wanted to try out a really difficult potion but she never had the time. She was just about to go to the stores when she heard someone stir behind her. She turned around to see a familiar face.

There with a cauldron in his hand stood the thin hook nosed figure that belonged to Severus Snape. She observed him as he awkwardly sat his cauldron on the table and his potions book aside. "Hello Severus," she said teasingly. She knew Severus long enough to know that he never talked to her. He and his lot all thought that she was worst sort of filth to walk the earth, a mudblood, as he called her once before.

Severus made a slight glance in her direction and nervously opened the book to a potion. She continued to look through various bottles, taking the ingredients that she needed. She looked at Severus again. He looked anxiously at her and she took her time collecting the ingredients. She chuckled. "Oh Serverus, don't be silly, we mudbloods don't bite. Come and take what you need."

Severus reluctantly got up and walked to the stores. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something then stopped himself.

"What is it that you wanted to say?"

He shook his head.

"Are you deaf mute Severus? Both you and I know you can speak."

Lily seemed to have touched a nerve. "I was going to say that I would have thought that you would be at the Quidditch match given the givens."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh like I really need that arrogant show off embarrassing me."

She chuckled at this like he couldn't help himself.

"Wow, I don't believe I have ever seen that emotion from you Severus."

He smiled to himself.

Lily looked at him as he took some powdered snake venom into his cauldron. She shuddered at the thought of what he was making; nothing good had that ingredient in it.

"What's that you're making?"

He shrugged. "Nothing."

"Okay so you don't want to tell me." Lily took her ingredients and went back to her cauldron. "I'm making some Felix…"

"…Felicis" he completed. "I've tried that before it really difficult. And it takes ages."

She shrugged. "I know but I think I can manage." She saw the look of envy in his eyes or was it admiration. "I can show you if you like."

He hesitated with the thought for a moment. She could only imagine how it irked him to have a "mudblood" help him. He finally nodded. She smiled at this and walked over to the other desk where he was seated. She looked at him and watched her take his copy of Advanced Potions. She scanned through the pages and stopped on Felix Felicis.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked Severus slightly worried.

"Don't worry," she replied giggling at the look on his face. "I'll make some notes for you." She took up his quill and dipped it in the ink and began to cross out some things and add her own instructions.

"And this will work?" he asked.

"Yes, I do it all the time. I change things up a bit. Improve it if you will."

"Is that right, how do I know you're not making me a batch of poison because Potter asked you to."

She gave him to look as if to say the idea was revolting an insulting but the social odd ball didn't catch on. His expression stayed the same.

She sighed in defeat and made her way back to the shelves and took out from a jar something shriveled up and dry. She marched over to Severus and pulled his hand that was nowtracing her handwriting in the book and placed the object in his hand.

"A bezoar?" he asked, looking at her questioningly.

"Yeah, if it's poison then you can take it. But just so you know this will not poison you."

She went back to jotting noted over his potion.

He smiled awkwardly.

She handed him the book when she was finished making her adjustments. "Now you can give it a go," she said.

He took the book and bowed his head deep in it to read. He always read and wrote like that, with his nose was dangerously close to the page. On many occasions she thought of asking him if he needed glasses but she was never on speaking terms with him. Only recently she realized that it was something he did unconsciously, especially when he was concentrating.

She walked back to her table and got a fire going, then conjured up a pitcher of water. Absentmindedly she began to hum the tune to a song by the Beatles while adding ingredients to her cauldron.

"The Beatles," she heard Severus say in a low voice.

She looked at him with her eyebrows together. "How did you know?" she asked.

He suddenly looked a little paler than usual. "My father was a big fan, has every single record there ever was."

She nodded. "My mom is always singing all their songs. After the first year of Hogwarts when I got home she asked me if I could conjure up Paul McCartney in the living room."

"Did you?" He asked.

Lily shook her head. "They don't exactly teach you how to conjure pop stars, do they?"

He shook his head silently.

Lily then looking over his way pinned her read hair behind her ears. "I didn't know that wizards listen to the Beatles."

He didn't respond, instead he just went pack to reading the potion she had scribbled over, clearly trying to determine if she was indeed trying to poison him.

She sat in an awkward silence for a moment and was about to enquire further when she heard a loud cheer erupt from the stadium. "Sounds like someone caught the snitch."

"I suspect it should be heart shaped any minute now," Severus muttered quietly.

She sighed at this. "I think I'm going to Slughorn's Party tomorrow. That's the one place on earth where he can't pop his messy little head," she explained. "Who are you taking?" She knew that Severus would probably have a hard time getting someone to go with him. Bellatrix and their lot never looked the sort to attend a Valentine's Day party."

"I forgot about that. He said if I don't show up he'll hunt me down." Snape sat up and in a wave of his wand all the ingredients vanished. "I don't know. I imagine James would not be coming with you."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I promise you Severus, I won't bring James if you don't."

Just as Lily said this someone came through the door. She turned around to see James Potter with a smug look on his face. "Severus, are you holding Evans hostage?"

Then before another word could be said Severus gathered up his things and left the classroom leaving Lily with James.

James looked at her questioningly. "What you doing here with Severus."

Lily rolled her eyes at him. "James, I don't recall ever agreeing to marry you so I can't see how it could possibly be any of your business."

He looked at her with his eyebrows together. "Seriously though, when I saw you were down hear with him I was seriously worried."

This was not new to Lily, he always had a way of knowing where she was all the time and who she was with. It was so frustrating. If she didn't know any better she's say that he had an invisibility cloak. But she couldn't imagine where he would get such a thing.

"I think I feel safer with him than with you. Now if you'll excuse me, this classroom is off limits to you." She pushed him out the classroom and shut the door in his face.

She looked at her potion bubbling and in a wave of frustration cleared it all up. She was no longer in the mood to make any sort of potion.

Author's Note: Hello this my fist HP fanfic in a really long time. I would love to have some reviews please. Also don't forget to Vote for your favorite paring. Lily/ James or Lily/ Snape.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: The Song Hey Jude is by the Beatles and I wrote none of it. I'm just borrowing the lyrics.

CHAPTER: HEY JUDE

When it was approaching seven o'clock Lily finally decided to quite the quiet comfort the potions dungeons provided and head up stairs to the common room. She figured all the post- match buzz would have died down considerably and it would now be safe to attempt to sneak into the dorms undetected.

The Gryffindor common room was almost empty except for Sirius, James and Peter, a mousy boys who followed them all over. She was not at all surprise to see that Remus was not with them.

It had been only last year when she discovered the weird illness that always caused him to disappear every moth coincided with the full moon. The list of full moon associated illnesses was regrettably short. It didn't take much for her to put together that he must be a werewolf. However, she still felt the need to confirm her theory. On the day he vanished she went up to the hospital wing to visit him only to be scolded by Madame Pomfrey who greeted her with cold civility and regarded her more as a vicious spy than a concerned friend when she noticed that he was not in the hospital wing.

Looking back on it she remembered the cold sadness she felt when she realized what he was going through. The first thing Lily could think of doing was to seek solace in the unpopular potions section of the library. She was certain there was something he could take to cure him. No matter how difficult it would be to make it she would do it in a heartbeat for him. Remus was simply one of the nicest, most fair- minded people she ever met. She wrecked her brain trying to figure out why he associated with Potter and his lot.

After days of searching and questioning Professor Slughorn it became clear that no such potion existed. Bitterly disappointed by the news, she resigned the idea of telling him that she knew about his condition. He would probably be more at ease feeling that no one knew about his condition.

She sighed at the thought of Remus and quietly made her way the spiraling staircase to the girl's dormitories.

"Lily, where have you been," asked when Victoria and she entered the room.

"Here and there," she replied with a faint smile on her face.

"You should have seen how quickly James caught the snitch. He did it in no time at all." Lily nodded at this; she knew that he caught it early in the game it ended so quickly. "Then he just charged off the field like a mad man and ran into the castle," Victoria added and Lily nodded again. James came to the dungeons immediately after the game. She would have told her this but decided against it as there would be too much explaining to do concerning Severus. In stead she felt quite contented to sit and listen to the strange behavior James was displaying whole day.

SOSOSOSOSOSOSO

In her six years at Hogwarts Valentine's day never fell on a Saturday or Sunday. So while the day would usually be filled with classes that year they would get to spend it in Hogsmade

It was seven o'clock when Lily woke. Most of the other girls were up and were already half way through the candy they got from their admirers. The elves usually visited the common rooms of all the houses and left gifts for the students from other students. She knew this year that she would get at least one card. James always sent her cards for every occasion, once he sent her a Happy, 28th of September card. There was nothing special about that day. He just felt like being an idiot as always.

Her pile was considerably large this year. She picked them up and examined them one by one. They were all different sizes, all with wonderful moving pictures. There was a large stack that was wrapped in a red ribbon that she already knew was from James. She didn't have to count them. He did the same thing last year. He sent 365 cards, each containing a different reason why she should be his girlfriend, 'one per day' and each more ridiculous that the other. In stead she focused on a pile she received from other people. Most of them weren't signed and some of them she could tell came from students younger than her. It was all very sweet. She looked at it smiling and the thought of how long it would take her to get through all the chocolates that came along with them.

"Wow Evans, Looks like you got yourself a deck there."

She turned around to see James smiling with his arms crossed. "Did you have a look at the one with the red bow?"

"I'm about to have breakfast James, I wouldn't go near it."

He ignored this comment. He seemed to be immune to criticism. "Reason number one: Because you can only deny your undying love for me for so long."

She rolled her eyes at this. Then taking out her wand levitated her stack of gifts up the stairs to the girl's room and on her bed.

AOAOAO

Lily was slowly nibbling on a heart shaped pancake when she heard a loud crack. A house elf apparated next to her.

"Libby has a gift for Lily," said the elf in squeaky voice. People were beginning to stare.

"Let's have it then," she said quickly. She was not familiar with this particular elf and knew it was not the elf assigned to Gryffindor. The elf then held out a small black box with a red ribbon around it. "Who is it from?" she asked.

The house elf shook her head. "Master 376 has requested that Libby not tell Master 096 who he is."

Lily looked at the elf in confusion. She was assuming that she was Master 096 but she wanted to know who was Master 376. She had a strange feeling it was James. She thought about how she could get the elf to reveal the identity. She smiled. "Well Master 096 commands that you tell her who master 376 is."

Out of thin air the elf pulled out an old scroll of parchment. "Rules Chapter 152: Verse: 15: Sentence 3 says; When Libby is faced with contradicting request form various masters. The masters who first made the request should be obeyed. Lily made request after master 376. Libby can only obey 376."

She had no idea that there were rules regarding this stuff. She sighed in the defeat and told elf goodbye. After the elf had vanished she sat staring at the box. A group of Ravenclaw girls were looking her way. She had a weird feeling about this. She opened the box slowly and peered in side. Someone sent her a bug, in particular a beetle. Her brows were beginning to frown but then the bug stated to move. It hopped out the box and onto the table and began to shake in a weird kind of way. If she didn't know any better she'd say it was dancing. Then suddenly it burst into song.

'**_Hey Jude Don't make it bad_**

_**Take a sad song and make it better**_

_**Remember to let her into your heart **_

_**Then you can start to make it better.**_

She giggled at it as it continued its song. The people who were looking her way before were now leaning over her shoulder.

"Why did someone send you a singing bug?" asked someone from behind.

"Don't you get it?" Lilly replied. "It's not just any bug, it's a beetle. Like the Beatles."

Then someone said, "I get it, a beetle singing a Beatles song." Lily turned around to see a Huffelpuff girl that she knew was muggle born like her. The rest of kids looked confused. "It's a muggle thing she explained. She turned her attention back to the beetle.

_**And any time you feel the pain, hey, Jude, refrain  
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders  
Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool  
By making his world a little colder**_

No one moved they all sat transfixed by the song. But by the time it got to the Na Na Na Na Na Na Nas the spell was wearing off the singing was starting to sound like stretched A- Track tape and the beetle was no longer dancing but now sitting quietly.

That was possibly the best Valentines gift she had ever received. She knew it wasn't from James now, He wouldn't know about Muggle music. Even though she spent a great deal of time trying to figure out who sent it, her mind never lingered on the most obvious candidate until later that night at Slughorn's Party.

NOTE: This chapter was a lot longer than I thought it would be. I even cut out a lot of what I wanted to write, yet it was still long.

Anyway. Nothing really happened in this chapter. Next One will have a lot of stuff. Reviews are welcomed.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER: Useless Shouting.

It was about fifteen minuets to nine when Lily examined her reflection the mirror of the girls' dorm. For half an hour's effort, she had to admit that she looked pretty good. In Hogsmade that day she had acquired a green blouse that was slightly fitted, but not too much so. She decided to wear it with a black knee length silk skirt that Petunia had given her two Christmases ago. To top it off she took an emerald green silk scarf and used it as a head band to hold the hair out of her face.

She had always been extremely reluctant to wear green. Petunia told her when she wore green she looked like a toad on fire. But one day when she had decided to hold her hair back with the very same green scarf, Remus complimented her, saying it brought out the color in her eyes. He said she had beautiful eyes. Then he suddenly changed the topic when he saw James had entered the common room. After that he never talked to her much. She wondered about him sometimes.

She took one last look in the mirror before she turned to Victoria who was fussing over her hair.

"It just won't curl," she cried.

"I think your straight hair looks beautiful," Lily told her reassuringly.

"That's easy for you to say. You're not stuck with it. Emma gave me some rollers like the ones muggles use and they just popped right out of my hair. Nothing can make it curl."

"Oh it doesn't matter; I doubt anyone will be looking at your hair." Victoria was wearing a blush pink blouse and a white shirt and reached a little beyond her knees. "You look beautiful. She sighed as if to say that the compliment would do for now.

They walked down the stairs and into the common room. It looked like the Gryffindores students were having a party of their own. They were just about to make a quiet exit when Sirius spotted them.

"Oy, James, check out Evans," he shouted. Everyone including James was looking at them.

"Looking good Evans, save a dance for me. I'm thinking about crashing," James said with a smirk on his face." Everyone went "OHHH" in unison. Lily was certain her cheeks were betraying her emotions.

Sirius was now in front of Victoria and seized her hand. Lily watched as Victoria made a weak effort to pull it pack. He said nothing; he just looked at her with a gleam in his eyes, then a smirk. Lily looked at Victoria in amusement. She had no idea that she and Sirius had anything going on, she always that that she liked James.

The potions dungeon looked nothing like Lily had ever seen it look before. Even for the other parties it didn't look this good. This time it looked almost the size of the great hall. Everything looked spectacular.

Floating in the air, where rose petals that were red, white and pink. They just hovered over everyone's head. The hard wooden oak benches had been replaced with soft cushioned red couches that made a parameter around what Lily assumed was a dance floor. Where Slughorn usually sat behind his desk instead stood Madame Rosemerta behind a bar. Even she looked prettier than usual, which was very pretty.

The music was being played by an abnormally beautiful woman with blond flowing hair and skin as perfect as porcelain. She strummed her harp softly while a group of tongue wagging boys surrounded her.

She made her rounds examining everyone. Most of the people there she knew were not students of Hogwarts. There were so many of them, she wondered exactly how many favorite past pupils did Slughorn have.

She had long lost Victoria to a group of girls who worked as editors for a new up and coming writer, called Gilderoy Lockhart.

She made her way over to the bar to speak to Madame Rosemerta. "Hello," she said, "It's nice to see you here."

"Horace wouldn't take no for an answer," she explained. "Can I get you anything, Fizzing Chocolate by chance?"

"What's that?" asked Lily.

"It a fizzing hot chocolate makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside," she explained.

"It sounds great but I'll just have a butterbeer for now."

"I'll have one too," said a voice from behind her. She turned around to see Severus. Madame Rosemerta handed them two frosty bottles. Around the neck of the bottles was a thin red ribbon with a card attached. Lily looked over to Severus who was examining the card. She looked down at hers. And read aloud, "Tonight you will discover true love." With their brows drawn together they looked at each other and then to Madame Rosemerta who was now a deep shade of pink.

"That's what Horace wanted. I didn't know what to write on it. I don't have any seers in my family you know," she said defensively.

Lily giggled at her and started to walk in the same direction as Severus.

"Hey wait up," she called. He turned around and looked at her questioningly. She examined him closely. Severus had managed to make his hair even greasier than usual. He wore a black shirt and a black dress pants and shoes. "Have you seen Marrionetta, the harp player yet?" she asked trying to make conversation.

"No," was his reply. Then he quickly turned around and disappeared into crowd.

She was there for two hours and was already bored. Victoria seemed to be having a ball. Lily sat one of the couches and looked at people as they danced to the music that was now a lively song. Even Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonagall were cutting the rug.

She was about to give up hope when she felt someone's eyes on her. At the other end of the room sat Severus. He was looking directly at her. She spotted him though the swishing robes. He was out of view for a few seconds but when he came back into view he was still staring at her, as if in a trance, unaware of what he was doing. She stared back at him. He continued to stare at her. She blinked at him, in an effort to snap him out of it. Then suddenly like his seat caught fire he sprang off the couch and made his way across the floor and then headed right out the door.

Lily looked at him in amazement and jumped up after him. She reached outside in time to see the back of his heel heading into the class room that was next to the potions room. She went in the door after him. The room was empty except for some benches and the potions ingredients that Slughorn must have moved for the party. He must not have heard her come in because he seemed startled when she announced her presence.

He jumped slightly and looked her. "What are you doing here?"

She was taken aback by his tone. He sounded like he was angry. "Well I was just wondering if you were leaving already. I haven't seen you dance once."

"I don't dance," he spitted.

"You don't dance, why not? Its fun you know. You do like fun right?"

He looked to be pondering the question. "I don't dance, as in I can't, meaning I am physically incapable of moving rhythmically to an accompanying piece of music."

Again she couldn't help but think he sounded angry for some reason. "I'm sure you can dance, you just can't dance well." She smiled at him. She had no idea why she was still talking to him.

"Yes Lily, it is regrettable. I'm afraid to say I have inherited my father's lack of rhythm," he said sarcastically. He made began to look thorough the potions ingredients and take some things out.

"Your dad, the Beatles fan, has no rhythm?" As soon as the words left her mouth she realized. "You?"

"Me, what?"

"Did you by chance send me a dancing and singing beetle?"

He thought about it like it was something that he usually did. "Yes, I forgot about that," he said eventually.

"You forgot you sent me a singing beetle for Valentine's?"

Then quickly he corrected her. "Who said I sent it for Valentine's day. I just thought it would be a funny bit of magic. I didn't even remember it was Valentines Day until I came to this stupid party. I have more important things to think about than some stupid sentimental holiday."

"Okay," she said, quickly nodding, not really believing what he was saying.

He turned his attention back to the stores and picked something out of a labeled jar. He face contorted in anger.

"Why are you so angry?" she asked.

"Who said I was angry."

"You seem angry."

He turned to her. "Evens you can't tell how someone is feeling if it hits you upside your head. You think you know everyone but you don't."

Now she was really confused. Why was he acting this way to her? He was nice enough earlier on but now he was acting almost mean. But then again he was usually mean. It was when he was nice it was something odd. Yet he had no right to talk to her like that. All she wanted to do was thank him for the gift but there he was shouting at her. She knew what this was about. It all went back to her being a muggle born. He wanted nothing to do with her, not with the pureblood-pride crew he hung around with.

"Why don't you just go ahead and say it," she said accusingly. He turned to face her. His face still contorted with anger.

"Say what?"

"That you can't bear being in the presence of a mudblood like me." She said. She looked at him and his face was slowly changing to an expression she hadn't seen from him before. "What's it Severus, are you ashamed that a mudblood can possibly be better than potions at you? That's it isn't it. My notes are working, so it must be eating you alive to feel second best. Something that a pure blood like you can't do, I can do in my sleep." She stared into his eyes as if daring him to challenge her. But when he spoke his tone of voice was different.

"That's not what I wanted to say?" he said softly. "I wouldn't call you that?"

"But you already did. If I can remember properly, "I don't need help from mudblood like you. Slipped you tongue then didn't it."

"I just said that because you would have only made it worst," he explained.

"That makes no sense what so ever. You know what; forgive for me for trying to be nice to a pureblood supremist like you." She turned on her heel and was about to leave the room when he shouted something at her.

"I'm not pureblood." She was prepared to walk away and not listen to anything he had to say but when what he said registered it made her turn around.

"What?" she asked

He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. "I'm not pureblood. My father's a muggle. Not a ounce of magic in him. He hated it actually."

She walked back over to him slowly. "Are you saying your half-blood?" he nodded. She couldn't believe it. How could anyone who hung out with Bellatriax and Regulas black be half-blood? They couldn't have known. No one could have known. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked quietly.

He sighed. "Well I don't think it would do me any good to have you angry with me again."

She looked at him in his eyes, he seemed sincere. "But then why are you so angry with me?"

He looked away from her. "I can't say why. There are some things I will never tell you. That's one of them."

"Was it something I did?"

He shook his head. "No you never did anything to me." He stared at a jar of something pickled then said. "You were right, it's working.

"What?" she asked.

"The Potion. I just started it but it coming along nicely so far. When I tried it before…well lets just say I had to buy a new set of robes."

"Cool, I'd like to see it sometime. Where are you brewing it?"

Then BANG!

As she asked this question one of the bottles on the shelf flew off the shelf and landed on the floor in pieces. The both looked at it in amusement. Lily looked around the room. She had a weird feeling like they weren't alone. "It's probably Peeves," she explained.

He nodded in agreement while repairing the bottle.

"I think I'll call it a night, I have Ancient runes first thing in the morning," she said. She looked at him. "Good night Severus and thanks for the beetle. It was cool." He nodded then he opened his mouth to say something. "Don't worry, I'm won't tell anyone what you told me," she said reaching for the door handle only to realize it was already open.

She reached up in the Gryffindor common room with what Severus told her still fresh in her mind. She really couldn't believe it. She was going up the stairs when someone called her name. She looked over it was James, a solitary figure by the fire place.

"Why are you still up?" she asked.

"You said you will save me a dance?" he said like it was the most obvious thing.

"I never said I was going to save you a dance," she replied.

"But you never said that wouldn't either." He smiled hopefully. "Besides, I have the music and everything." He pointed at a miniature harp that began to strum quietly. "So I guess you have no choice but to dance with me."

Lily looked at him. He really looked hopeful, almost desperate. She didn't have the heart to refuse him. "Okay, one dance" she said.

James looked like he was going to die of shook for a moment then quickly collected himself. He took a piece of parchment that was in his hand and threw in aside on the floor. She walked over to him and took his hand. Then he slowly put his hands around her waist. She couldn't believe what she was going. They started to move slowly. He was silent. She could feel his heart racing, through his palms, which were now sweating. If she didn't know any better she'd say that he was nervous around her. "Say something," she urged him.

He sighed heavily and about two minutes after her request he said. "I saw that grease ball Severus earlier tonight. I didn't think it was possible for his hair to be any greasier. Did he get it all over the floor, on Slughorn's robes and into the punch?"

She couldn't believe him. That was all he could talk about. She pulled away from him. "Why do you have to pick on others to make yourself feel more secure?" He looked at her dumbfounded. "You really a jerk, you know James." She moved away from him and back to the steps. "God, now I remember why I hate you so much."

She took one last look at him. He looked like he was almost about to cry. She rolled her eyes and ran up the stairs. There was just something about him. Something she couldn't figure out.

NOTE: Wasn't that nice and Long. That was for the lack of up dates. Hope you liked. You see I got in a bit of every thing here. Review please.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER: Quick Silver.

"How much Slughorn is too much Slughorn?" This is was the question Lily Posed to Emma as they left the ancient runes class. Last night she was quite sure that she had enough Slughorn for the week, but no such luck, she had a triple potions in the afternoon.

Slughorn sat behind his oak desk in a classroom of less than twenty students. He was trying to talk while stuffing another piece of crystallized pineapple into his mouth. Everyone was giggling under breath. Lily and Emma looked at him in amusement. He got up from and made his way into the centre of the room. "Today class we're making Quick Sliver," he said excitedly. There were eager murmurs all over the classroom. Lily herself couldn't wait to give it a try. "Who can tell me what is. Yes Snape."

He said in a very bored yet confident voice. "It speeds up reaction time and motion of the drinker."

Slughorn clapped. "Yes, ten points to Slytherine. Although I am sure Evans would have been able to tell me that." He turned to Lily and smiled. Lily always felt extremely awkward about all the attention she received from Slughorn. It was like he thought that there were only two students in the class.

"As we know, like Felix Felicies, this is a banned substance in sporting events, exams and things of that nature. So like anything that is sooo good that is must be moderated, it is very difficult to make. In fact it is almost impossible for anyone to brew this potion by himself."

There was another burst of excitement.

"So pair up everyone." He commanded.

It was the most uneven paring up. Everyone was either by Lily or Severus. James was knocking people out of the way to get in front of the Lily line. Some people turned away from Lily in hope of finding Severus free. Slughorn, much like Father Christmas let out a jolly laugh.

"Yes, I should have anticipated it. You all want good grades that you would not have otherwise.

"I was here first," James said pushing a Ravenclaw boy out of the way.

"I think I have the solution." He smiled to himself. "Snape, you go with Evans. That way no one wins."

They was a groan of disappointment from everyone. Lily looked over to Severus who was packing up his things with an interesting look on his face. He was frowning but his lips were curled into a smirk. Emma moved out of the way and walked over to James who was shooting fireballs with his eyes at Severus.

"This potion if done right will take exactly five minutes to make. No less and definitely no more. So that means you will have lots of time top get in right. Read the instructions carefully and begin." As he finished he went back to his pineapples.

Lily took out her potions book and opened it to the page with Quick Silver on it. She placed it between her and Severus so they could both look at it. "So let's get the ingredients huh," she said to him.

He nodded. He took the book and then came back with a cauldron full of ingredients. "How are we supposed to add all of this in five minuets?" He asked. He took them out one at a time and placed them in order that he should be added. It says the potion should be stirred nonstop. Who's going to stir?"

"I will," Lily volunteered.

"You have to count the stirs. " There must be no more than six hundred stirs in the five minuets so that means you have to do 120 clockwise stirs in one minuet." He said. His nose was getting deeper and deeper into the book. She couldn't help but smile at this. He was so wired, it was almost cute. "When I add the ingredients they must be equal times apart leaving one minute for them to simmer together in the end and one minute in the beginning. That means I have three minuets to add the ingredients twelve seconds apart. I have to slice each ingredient and make sure the insides of each ingredient are not exposed to open air for more than five seconds as this may change the composition of the potion making it void." His nose was now touching the book. He looked panicked. He looked up to Lily.

"Don't look so panicked, I'm sure we'll be fine. Besides we have lots of time to try." She waved her wand over a quill and turned it into a stop watch and set the time on five minutes. "Ready?"

He gulped. "Ready."

She stared the stop watch. She then turned on the green flame. Severus waited until the minute was almost up to cut the first ingredient, and then added it quickly. He waited another seven seconds to cut the second one, and then added it when it was the twelfth, all the while Lily stirring, keeping perfect timing.

They continued in this way until the fourth minuet was up and Severus had added all the ingredients. Lily was stirring keeping count. As the seconds drew closer she couldn't contain her smiles any longer. She looked over to Severus who was looking just as gleeful as she was. When the time had expired Lily gave her last stir at the same moment and pulled out the stick. They looked in the Text for conformation that they did the correct thing.

"If brewed correctly the potion will be silver in color and fluid. It will emit no smoke and will be completely cool in ten seconds and free for usage."

They looked at their potion. It was definitely silver and no smoke was coming out. Lily dipped her finger in it. It was cold. She smiled at him. "We are so good at this, it's scary."

He looked in the cauldron and then to her. "I think you're right."

They were enjoying their moment of triumph when they hear a roaring voice. "Never in all my years at Hogwarts…," Slughorn squealed.

Everyone looked up, neglecting their potions. There was hissing coming out of the goblets. But Professor Slughorn didn't seem to care.

"This is the first time Sixth year students have been able to successfully brew this potion. And on the first try." There were almost tears in his eyes. "Evans and Snape, you must be given some sort of an award. I am miffed. Why, not even I was able to this until my seventh year. Two hundred points each."

Slughorn went on about them for about ten minuets more until someone pointed out that they wanted to continue their potion in peace. He went back to his desk mumbling still.

"We should do this more often Severus, I think we make a killer team." Lily told Severus, punching him on the shoulder as a joke. She leaned in close to him to whisper something in his ear. "Not bad for a muggle born and a half blood eh."

"Not bad at all," he commented blushing. "You know the Felicies is already talking color, it's a dull shade of yellow," whispered back to her.

She looked just as excited as he knew she'd be. "I want to see it, where are you brewing it."

"Do you know the room of requirement?"

"Yes, I know it. I hid something in there once."

"Meet me there at seven o'clock tonight."

Then suddenly there was a loud explosion. The class turned around to see violently red liquid all over Emma and James' robes. "Dam it James, you suck at Potions. How the hell did you get in this class?" Emma shouted at him. Slughorn rushed over to them and cleaned up the mess quickly. Everyone's potion started hissing again.

"Severus come here and help Potter and Burton with their potions. Tell them what you and Evans did. Evans you could help the others if you like."

Severus looked extremely unhappy with the idea. He walked over to James. Lily couldn't help but noticed that James looked less than please with the arrangements but he was quiet. He was never as vocal when Sirius and Peter weren't around to cheer him on.

She walked over to some Hufflepuff girls who were staring at the book confused. She began explaining it to them when he heard a loud swear.

"I will not tolerate that language in my class." Slughorn shouted. She looked to see that Slughorn was shouting at Severus. Who was holding his hand in a firm grip? Blood was gushing out. She went over to them. "What happened here?" Slughorn asked, realizing that Snape was injured.

"Potter is the purist manifestation of incompetence, that's what." Snape shouted to no one in particular. Lily couldn't help it; she let out a snort of laughter.

James then slammed his Advanced Potions book shut and gave Severus a look that said he would pay for that one later. "I'm sick, I'm going to nurse," he said through his teeth. He didn't wait for Slughorn permission. He just took up his things and left.

Lily felt guilty. She should not have laughed at him like that. But he did leave Severus injured but she was almost certain he did this on purpose.

Slughorn said a song like incantation under his breath and healed Severus's wounds quickly. He looked at it in amazement. The whole class was now looking them. "Back to work," Slughorn said calmly. "Severus, continue where Potter left off."

Lily walked back to the desk in two minds. She was certain that James deserved every bit of insults he got but she still felt extremely sorry for him. He really did seem to hate Severus, though she couldn't think of one reason why he would hate him that much.

NOTE: I would like some reviews please. So far Lily/ Snape is wining. That's why it all seems to be going Snape's way so far.


	5. Chapter 5

NOTE: I know I started this story as Lily's POV but now I think I will have to Add James' and Severus'. It will be much better this way because there are some really juicy parts coming up after this chapter. She's going to start choosing.

DISCALIMER: I'm using a song called: Don't let it go to your head: By Fefe Dobson. Just picture it as back round music. If you want to hear the song (trust me, it's good) you can find it Love in Idleness

Lily made her way up to the seventh floor a little after seven that afternoon. It was by chance she had discovered this room. It was in the third year when she first came down this corridor in search of a bathroom. Victoria told her she had found one there sometime. She looked all over for it and she couldn't find it anywhere. It only popped up out of thin air after she walked by about three times. Then whenever she passed it again it wouldn't be there. She only discovered how the room worked when she came down the same corridor looking for somewhere to hide a rather embarrassing birthday gift Petunia had given her and was delivered to her while she was on her way to Divination class.

She walked by the blank wall thinking: "I need to meet Severus, I need to meet him brewing the potion, he invited me." It worked perfectly. The large oak door popped up out of thin air. She turned the golden handle and pushed the door open and just as she expected Severus, was there leaning over his cualdron. He looked up when he heard her enter. "I thought you weren't coming," he said coolly.

"And miss this, never." She took her back pack off and placed on a sofa that was in the room. She went over to the culadron and looked down at the contents. It was indeed a yellowish colour. She picked up the book that Severus was using and read the potion. "It says it will stay like this until you add the clovers."

"Yeah, and I have to add that a month form now." He sighed and went over to the couch where he had some books laying about. He decided he would do his homework here so he could keep an eye on his potion. Professor Slughorn had given them a twenty inch essay to write on the properties of Quick Silver and its uses.

"You're doing homework, I brought mine as well." She took out a stack of books in her bag and put them on the floor so she would have place to sit.

Every now and then they would look up and tell each other an interesting piece of information they found.

"Do you know that the Ministry of magic identified no less than fifty muggles who used Quick Siler during the 1974 Summer Olympics won gold medals? Muggles cannot detect it as cheating?" Severus told her. He was browsing through a book called. "Potions in the Muggle World."

"I always knew something was up with that guy who won the 100 meters dash."

Lily was reading a book called 'Potions We Love to Abuse". She read a sentence. "Reienzie of the Rhine drank so much Quick Silver he ran all the way to Kent in less than hour then dropped down dead afterwards."

When they were finished with heir Potions homework they read each other's work over.

"This is so good it's embarrassing to everyone who has ever written a potions essay," Severus said with a frown on his face. He reached out and snatched his essay out of Lily's hand. "Mine's not good enough."

"I was reading it. It was good." She said this with a smirk on her face.

"That's what I thought until I read yours."

She snatched it out of his hands. "It's good; it just needs a few adjustments. I'll do them for you."

"You will?"

"Sure," She took out her quill and began to cross out some stuff and add some things. Severus looked at her closely as she did this. He couldn't believe that she was helping him. He could hardly believe that she even talked to him. Yet she was. If he did this right, if he didn't do anything to mess it up, he and Lily Evans, the most beautiful person he had ever seen up close could actually be friends, more than friends.

She handed him the essay when she was finished. There were so many scratches that it would have made more sense for her to write the whole thing for him. He had no idea that his writing was that mediocre. He was not the best at Potions but he was really good at Defence against the Dark Arts. "I feel horrible," he said. "This is sort of like cheating isn't it?"

"No, you wrote it, I just corrected it."

"Then you must let me help you with something. Is there anything you're not good at that I might me good at?" He really did want to repay her but he said this more in hope of spending more time with her.

Lily thought bout it. Something she wasn't good at. Was there anything that she wasn't good at? She did only manage to get an acceptable in Defence against the Dark Arts. "I think I can use some help in Defence against the Dark Arts,"

This couldn't be better. She needed help in Defence Against the Dark Arts and that just happened to be his favourite subject. He could more than help with this. He would actually have a chance to impress her with all he knew. "Yes, I can definitely help you with that."

888

This was how their friendship began. As the weeks went by they spent a lot of time together in the room. Not only was it cosy but they were both doing so well in their subjects that Gryffindor and Slytherine were way ahead of all the other houses in points. Even James noted that she was beginning to get better than him in DADA. However when he said this it wasn't a compliment, it was more of an accusation.

Severus who was always good at Potions just not as good at Lily in Potions was now just as good. She would even make notes in his book on how to make a potion easier to brew. They were extremely helpful.

They were having fun. Every now and then Severus would bring something interesting to show Lily while the potion was brewing. One afternoon when Lily came in she found him looking father pleased with himself.

"What is it?" she asked him.

He smiled. "Close your eyes," he commanded. This wasn't the first time he asked her to do that. She closed it immediately because she knew he usually did that when it was something good. He would put it in her hand and make her guess what it was but this time he held something up to her nose. "What do you smell?"

Severus looked at her as she tried to smell, her eyes remaining closed all the time. He would love for her to have told him what she smelt but she figured out what it was. When he smelt it it smelled like a mixture of Honey and Strawberries, her Shampoo. It was one of the best smells in the world.

_**So what if I came clean**_

_**And told you all you mean to me**_

_**So what if I meant every word I said**_

**_Baby, don't let it go to your head._**

"Nice try Severus, but where ever did you get it."

He opened her hand and placed a delicate purple flower in it. "You know how Potter and I had to do detention in the forbidden forest?"

She nodded. James and Severus had an outright brawl in DADA class while they were paired up to practice.

" Well I was there in the forest and I saw it but I wasn't sure it was it at first then I smelt... anyway... it was just there alone surrounded by a bunch a weeds like it didn't mind being something so beautiful surrounded by all those ugly things... anyway, it made me think of you."

_**So what if I write your name**_

_**Cause you're always on my brain**_

_**In a heart, and paint it crimson red**_

_**Baby, don't let it go to you head.**_

_**I'm the one who's in control here**_

_**Just let me make it clear.**_

Servers would always find the weirdest ways of complementing her then get extremely embarrassed afterwards. She looked at the flower. "Do you reckon I should make a love potion with it?"

"You don't need to make a love potion to make someone fall in love with you, just look at and him and that would do the trick."

_**Just cause I can't go on.**_

_**Just cause I die when you're gone**_

_**Just cause I think of you in bed**_

_**Don't let it go your head.**_

There was an awkward silence. He couldn't help but notice he was saying too much recently. He couldn't just go about telling her all these things, it's not like she was his girlfriend or anything. She always looked uncomfortable when he told her something nice. He was certain that she had no sort of feelings for him. He was just being stupid. She was just being nice to him and Lily was nice to everybody. There was nothing special about him. He hated his existence.

_**If I look in your eyes**_

_**One, two, too many times**_

_**And memorize every word you said**_

_**Don't let it go to your head.**_

Lily looked at Snape beat himself up mentally for giving her a compliment and decided to change the topic. "Do you know Shakespeare, the muggle playwright."

"Yes, I read in a Muggle studies book that he was well acquainted with witches. They inspired him to write Macbeth."

"Well he has a play called A Midsummer's Night Dream, where he uses Love in Idleness throughout the play. I guess it made sense that he knew witches and wizards. How else would he know about it?"

He nodded. He was having a hard time speaking even thought he felt comfortable around her most the time. It was only when he started to let things slip did he get stupid and his mind would freeze up totally.

He went over to the potion and looked at it.

Lily made a glass casing around her flower and rested on the table where she could see it. It was truly beautiful. But she couldn't for the life of her make any sense of what she smelt. The flower smelled strangely of Slughorn's dungeon. Why did she smell that? Was it because she liked Severus or was it heaven forbid because she had a crush on Professor Slughorn?

NOTE: Okay James and Lily fans don't panic. I purposely had her smell Slughorn's classroom because both James and Severus are in that class, only thing she didn't realise that she could have smelt it because of James.

I loved this song so much I couldn't resist using it.

I'm sorry about the spelling errors. It's sort of difficult because I am a very poor speller and I'm sort on counting on word to pick them up.

I'm sort of fast tracking a bit because they are some really important things I need to put in and I always try to end stories in ten chapters. It's going to get really good, I promise.


	6. Chapter 6

NOTE: You all would have seen that in the previous chapter I added Severus' POV. Now you will see James'. It's going to be fun. Trust me.

CAHPTER: She's a Tease

James took one last look on the map to make sure that Severus was still in the Potions class room. He was going to have a little chat with him. He was tired of looking down on the map and seeing a dot marked Lily and a dot marked Severus so close together. Sometimes it would be impossible to spot both of them on the map, then they would appear somewhere on the 7th floor. It was very annoying. He had no idea what had gotten into them but it had to stop. Snape was a purist, what he would want with Lily; he even called her a mudblood. And Lily, she was so perfect, what would she want with that greasy, stupid git, surly she had taste. She had to stop being friends with him, if not for her sake for his. It was driving him crazy.

How was he supposed to explain to Sirius and Lupin that Lily was ignoring him and spending time with Snivillus. It was so embarrassing. It was too bazaar. What was even more bazaar was that Sirius didn't even seem to have that much time for him anymore. He spent all his time like a love struck fool with Victoria Adams. Not even Lupin had realised he was being tortured because every now and then he would get so depressed about his hairy problem that he hardly had time to notice anyone else's suffering. And Peter...well what can be said about Peter... he was totally clueless. No, he had to suffer through this alone. Besides he was not about to admit this anyone.

He pushed open the door to the Potions class room.

"I'm adding the clovers tonight, will you come and see." Severus asked not really looking at who came in. He assumed that it was Lily. They usually met there on Saturdays, after quidditch.

"No," James said harshly. It got the reaction he was hoping for. He startled him.

"Great, what are you doing here?" What a nightmare expecting to see Lily and being confronted with James.

"No the question is who were you expecting?" He didn't even know why he was asking this when he already knew the answer. Severus and Lily were always locked up in the Potions room on a Saturday. Doing some stupid potions thing he was certain.

"I don't see how it can be any of your business." Snape replied coolly.

James moved closer to him. "Well it is my business when it concerns Evans." He saw the look on Severus'' face. "Yes, I know."

He had to admit that he was shocked. He couldn't see how anyone could have known that he and Lily were spending time together, he never told a soul what they were doing and he didn't think that she told anyone either. "Well I don't see how it can be your business seeing that she hates you."

Ouch, that hurt but he couldn't let it show. "She doesn't hate me stupid. Just because she says that sometimes doesn't mean that she isn't nice to me." Severus looked bored with the conversation or at least he was trying to. "Oh please tell me that you didn't actually think that she was being nice to you because she liked you?"

"I never said anything like that." It was true, he didn't think it.

"Snevillus she is nice to everybody. That's what she does. She gets you to like her and then she lets you know that she doesn't like you."

"Lily and I are just working on something together. We would invite you but it's just that you're incompetent and we can't stand you."

James snorted. "Please, I see the way you look at her, all misty eyed. I know that your trying to fool your purist friends that you will never fall for someone like her but... well you can't fool me."

Severus was getting annoyed. He had no idea why James felt that it was necessary to come and talk about Lily to Him. "Is there a point to this?"

"The point is Snevillus, you need to stay away from Evans."

"Yes sir," he said sarcastically.

He was a downright snotty little brat. "I know you think she likes you but she doesn't okay."

Severus got off the chair and moved close to James. "Then you have no reason to tell me to stay away from her, since you made it pretty clear that she feels nothing for me."

James nodded. "Right, then. Just so you know... I hate you and all but... the girl's a flirt. She doesn't want me and she certainly doesn't want you." With that he left the room. He felt like he had accomplished nothing. He was certain that he hadn't convinced Severus to stay away from Lily and he couldn't keep them apart like he did on Valentines night because he had no idea where they were.

888

Lily sat on the sofa in the room of requirement with a frown on her face. Severus was in one of his I'm- angry- with- you- but- I'm- not- going- to- tell- you- why- moods. He was being sort with her all day, and it was driving her nuts. He had just added the clovers and the potion had turned a bright silvery colour and he didn't even seem to be happy about it. They were now doing their homework and instead of pointing out some interesting things to her he was writing so furiously he had already tore his parchment with this quill twice.

"Do you want me to read it over?" she asked cautiously.

"No, I do not need you to read it over." That was a lie; he would have loved for her to read it over for him.

"Why not?" she asked

He shoved the parchment in his bag. "Because you're being condescending."

"I'm being condescending, how is that?"

He looked like he was waiting to be asked this question. He got up from the couch. "Why do you even talk to me?"

She frowned. He had asked her that question so many times. He was extremely paranoid at times. "Because, you're fun."

"I'm not fun," he said shortly. "You must be the first person ever to use my name and fun in the same sentence. So why do you do it. Is it because you feel sorry for me?"

"I don't feel sorry for you."

"Then is it because you just want me to like you?"

That was an odd sort of question. Of course she wanted him to like her. No one wanted to be hated. She gave a slight nod.

He couldn't believe it, James was right. She just wanted him to like her. "Then why are you still here. You know that I like you. Isn't that enough for you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well I think I made it soft of obvious that I fancy you a lot so I can't see why you will still need to hang around me if your just going to do to me what you do to James."

Okay so they were talking about two different meanings of like. Severus was telling her that he liked her, like more than a friend.

He couldn't read the expression on her face. "You know I hate James but I sort of feel sorry for him. You've done quite a number on him and I'll be damn if I let you do it to me."

"What have I done to James?" She was angry now because he was accusing her of doing things maliciously.

"You lead him on then you decided that you didn't like him anymore. You do it all the time. It's like your MO."

Is that what people thought of her. Did they really think that she was this heartbreaker, that she was a serial flirter? "That's not true."

"I'm having a really hard time believing that. You now how I feel about you and you know that you would never feel the same yet you still..." he stopped himself. He couldn't believe he was telling her this. But she must have known. It was so clear, even to James.

He stood up and looked at him in the eyes. She was no more than an inch away from him. "You're wrong Severus."

"Am I ?," he asked hopefully. She was so close to him he could smell her shampoo, that mixture of honey and strawberries and loved so much. She would always put him in a trance.

"Yes," she whispered. "Because I do like you."

Then before he could process what was happening they were kissing. Lily Evens kissing him. It was like he had fallen into one of his dreams. He never wanted it to end. He never felt like he would get to feel a moment of complete bliss but here he was the happiest person alive, with the one person who ever made him feel like he was worth something.

NOTE: Aren't you glad I sped it up. Who wants a next chapter.

Why am I even asking. I'm going to write one for me.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER: The Best of Times/The worst of Times.

For the first time in six years Severus was happy. He had only felt this feeling about three times in his life. He could remember them all. The first time was when he first walked into to Hogwarts. The second time was when he first saw her. It felt so good just to know that she existed. Then he felt it again last night. He could imagine what his room mates thought of him. He didn't sleep a wink. He spent all the night staring into space then laughing out loud for no reason.

"Severus, have you gone wonkers," asked Cross Surgarman, " What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," he said in dreamy voice. "Just ignore me, I'm fine." He would have usually told him off for that but he just didn't care at that moment. All he could focus on was her eyes, her hair, the way she spoke, her smile. AHHH he needed to stop it or he would drive himself crazy.

He woke up the follwing morning with a song in his head. 'I_ see skies of blue and clouds of white, the bright blessed days and the dark stary night. And i say to my slef what a wonderful world.' _He found himself singing this aloud as he walked down into the common room. The look of complete confusion and disgust that Bellatrix gave him made him simle inwardly. It was a good feeling knowing that he had something to be happy about.

Even though he was abnormally jovial that day the truth was hated the fact that it was Sunday, they didn't see each other on Sundays. She would usually stay up in the common room. He would have to wait until Monday to see her. He was beginning to wish Slughorn had one of his parties. It was a perfect excuse for them to spend time after dark together. The possibilities were endless.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Do you have somewhere to be Severus?" asked Professor McGonagall impatiently. Severus had long turned his whistle into a pocket watch and was watching it anxiously while shouting at other students who were taking a while to get it. _"how hard can it be?"_

James, Severus, Lupin and Peter, the bane of his existence were all sniggering behind his back. He had a good mind to tell themoff, to boast about the fact the Lily Evans did indeed fancy him, but it wouldn't do to boast. Besides he didn't think that Lily would like that too much. She would always get angry with him when he "picked" on anyone.

Instead he ignored them.

After about five more minuets of agony, the class was finally over. His stuff was already packed so he just picked it up and rushed out of the class. But as soon as he reached the first floor and was beginning to descend the stairs to the dungeons he got a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was nervous, he wasn't nervous before but now that the time had actually come he didn't know what to do. Should he acknowledge what happened or should he act normal. '_act normal_,' he scolded himself. But then when he reached the class he decided that he should acknowledge it or she might think something was wrong. '_Just acknowledge it slightly_,' he told himself. But how do you do that.

He would usually be the first to reach the class, followed by James but this time Lily beat him to it. Her class must have finished early because Ancient Runes was held in the south tower. She looked at him when he walked it. His heart was racing so wildly he was certain that someone had slipped him some quick silver.

"Hey Sev," she said a girlish voice.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

James hated Potions, none of his close friends were in that class. Lupin managed to blow up his culadron during the OWL examination and recieved a Troll and Sirius refused to go any further in the subject, Peter never even had a chance. However awful that seemed it was not as bad as having to deal with Smart Alec Snivillus getting things right all the time and recently Lily being cozy with him. But he was always comforted in the fact the he was certain that Lily would NEVER go for _him_. She was just being nice to him.

He walked in the dungeon ready to get a quick insult to Snivillus before she reached. However, and much to his surprise she was already there, talking to him. They were a considerable distance apart, no doubt because Slughorn was already there but from the back of the class you could see... the most horrific thing he had ever seen in his life. One the bench their hands were touching, his bony, slimy hands touching her soft delicate hands. _'Okay that was understatement'_. They were actually holding hands. He closed his eyes and opened them again, to make sure he was seeing correctly but when he opened them it was still happening. It was actually getting worse because she was telling him something and smiling and what ever she told him had a similar reaction from him, he was smiling too, at least that's what James thought he was doing, he looked sort of odd like his smile mussels had been permanently petrified from lack of use. What could Lily have been telling him to make him smile like _that_? He tried to listen in but he couldn't hear anything, all her heard was a weird buzzing noise. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't even notice that he was there.

It was like he had fallen into one of his nightmares.

Luckily other people started to arrive and they decided to end that disgusting behaviour they where displaying. He went to his desk and she stayed at hers. James was confused, what could have happened between Saturday and today to make that happen. Of course she had held James' hand before when they were dancing but when she was holding _his_ hand it was totally different, there was no need for it, so she must have wanted to.

He had this bitter feeling in his stomach, his throat felt dry and he just wanted hide his face. He had never been so disappointed in all his life.How on god's green earth can Severus steal her from him.

888

In Hogwarts it was rear occasion when something going on outside affected the students but recently it did. Victoria's parents had both been murdered. She was so upset that she became inconsolable. Sirius tried his best to cheer her up but it was impossible. She was in a mess. Like this wasn't bad enough it became even worse when she got the news that her aunt and two uncles had also been murdered. It was like someone was targeting her family in particular. After that bit of news she would disappear into Dumbledore's office and immerge hours later. Every where she went she had people from the ministry following her. No doubt they must have realised that she would have been the next target.

The mood in the school had changed; there was a lot of whispering about it. Owls were coming in more frequently than usual, everyone was so panicked.

"Do you know who they say is responsible?" Lily asked Severus. They were in the room of requirement looking over the potion that was no doubt close to coming to a complete brew. She had rested her head in his lap while he stroked her hair, it was extremely comforting.

"They're saying it's this guy, who goes about killing people. You know the one."

"Yes, Voldermort." She said shortly.

He put his finger over her lip. "Don't say his name. Anyone who does ends up dead. I think I'll go mad if anything should happen to you. I'll have to kill him myself."

Lily frowned. But it wasn't because of what Severus said. She just couldn't understand. "What is he, is he a man."

"I think so."

"No I mean does he have a soul. If he does, is he madman and if he doesn't then he must be the devil."

"No, he's just extremely power hungry." Severus looked down at her. When she first heard about Victoria's parents she was so upset, she cried that whole night but now she was angry. She wanted whoever responsible for it to be caught but it was only disappointment after disappointment because the man could not be caught. He managed to escape the ministry aurors and take five of them with him.

Lily sighed and sat up. "I wish I was an Auror. That way I can kick his power hungry ass."

"Please don't say things like that." It scared him when she started to talk like that. It was not like if this Voldermort guy was some regular wizard that anyone could defeat. This guy killed people like it were nothing and muggleborns were his favourite victims. He loved the fact that she was so fearless but she couldn't afford to be, not with this guy. "Besides," he continued, "You're not doing transfiguration, you need that to become and Auror."

She sighed. "I know that. I wish I didn't take Ancient runes. It seemed important then but now..." She looked to him. "You know Sev... you're doing all the subjects to become and Auror."

"Yes..." he said cautiously.

"Well you'll be such a good Auror you know; you're so good at Defence." He was silent. He looked like he didn't like the idea. "I mean, if you had a choice to help people you would, right."

He thought about what he was going to say. There was no way he would risk his life for any and everyone but for Lily, for his lovely Lily, he would. "If you wanted me to."

"I do," she said squeezing his hand. "I mean, I know we're not finished with school yet but I still think we should do something to help."

"Okay Lily, I will become and Auror if you promise me that you will NEVER EVER do anything to draw attention to yourself."

"I'm not afraid of him?"

"You should be." The fact that she was in Gryffindor made her oblivious to the fact the Slytherin students knew a lot more about this man than the rest of school. There was a rumour that he was even more powerful than Dumbledore. "I feel sorry for the man who will marry you, you'll be impossible protect."

"I can protect myself," she said matter-of-factly.

He shrugged. "I know but_ I_ want to be the one to protect you. It's sort of my job isn't it?"

She smiled at him and she gave him quick peck on his lips. At first she wasn't sure what it would be like having Severus for a boyfriend but she soon realised that he was perfectly normal. There was a side of him that he only allowed her to see. He actually could be one of the sweetest persons imaginable.

NOTE: Okay, I sort of thought that I had to introduce some Voldermort things. So I just added in something. I hope you liked it.

I'll update on Wednesday, as long as I get at least four reviews. so.. go on..you know you want to.


	8. Chapter 8

NOTE: Okay so someone was wondering when are Lily and Snape going to go out on a real date? Well, they will leave the room but they never be seen together by anyone really. The only person who will know is James. I'm sort of writing this as a fill-in-the-blanks story. If JK didn't tell us what happened, I am making up something that could have happened. In the books, no one would have known abbout Snape and Lily because they would have told Harry about it. The potions class: remus and Sirius not being in the class is to explain why they wouldn't know the real reason why Snape left the Dark side. I also put in an expalnation why Slughorns compears Harry's work to Lily and not Snape when it is Snape's book he is using. I made it that Lily wrote the corrections to the potions and he wrote the dark spells. Soon I'll have him change the writing to his ( expalining why all the writing is the same).

So to answer someone else's question. No Snape will not become and Auror.

I know I have given a lot away but I kept all the good things I plan to do with this story to myslef. In fact I have already written the second to last chapter. It was in my head and I didn't want to loose it. It's so good and very..very long.

**CHAPTER: Murmurs and Mudbloods**

"That makes it seven, seven students of Hogwarts."

James was addressing a group of Gryffindors who had gathered in the common room. Everyone was talking about it, another murder, this time a girl from Ravenclaw's parents. It seemed people where being killed off one by one, would there be anyone left. All the ministry of magic could do was assure everyone that they had everything under control. No, they had lost control a long time ago.

"And to think he went this school, walked these corridors," Sirius said. Ever since the death of Victoria's parents his life had taken quite a turn. There wasn't room for messing around anymore; it was time to start taking a more active role in what was going on.

"But what can we do, we're not even of age yet?" Emma posed this question to James who had called the meeting.

"I know but we can't do nothing. I mean he was left unchecked before, everyone knew what he was doing and they said nothing, they ignored it, we can't do that." Everyone nodded in agreement. "We have to fight this."

"How," someone asked again.

"Well if we can't do it now, we have to plan for it. In a year form now some of us will let be out into the world and we can't just do nothing, we have to make a contribution. Even if it's becoming an Auror or denying him and his followers, it all helps. It takes one person to start a revolution and there are about thirty of us."

A kid about a year younger than James, Frank Longbottom raised his hand, as if James was some sort of authority figure. "But wouldn't that be hard."

He thought about it. "It will be, but it's not about what's easy, it's about what's right."

"And to think he was in Slytherin, that house should just be banned. The whole lot of them have been walking around with an air of superiority," Robbie Keane said. There were murmurs of agreement.

"No, don't start that; it will not do to make them our enemies. Are we all prepared to give up our friends from that house? I know for a fact that at least one of you is dating someone from that house." When he said this he tried his best not to look at Lily, she didn't tell anyone and he wasn't about to. "Some of them are okay and rest of them...well they're not as smart as us so they can't spot propaganda when they see it."

"Yeah, Hitler got a whole nation to follow him," Emma said. People looked at her confused. She thought that even wizards would know about him. "He was a pureblood power hungry idiot just like _you know who."_

_---_

James, who was this James Potter, how was it that he could be so stupid yet so noble. How could he have known that she and Severus were together? And why was he so considerate not to tell anyone. They were alike in many ways.

Lily sat staring at her hands while James spoke, in an attempt to avoid eye contact. Everything was changing around her. It was becoming increasingly difficult to have a relationship with Severus. The rift between Slytherin and the other houses was becoming so sever that people refusing to have classes with them. Some were sitting on the other side of the room. People were fishing out things from the past to support their theory that Slytherin should be banned. There was some rumour going on about a Chamber of Secrets and an evil heir of Slytherin, that killed a girl at the school. The Gryffindors were having a birthday party for her and she wasn't even allowed to invite her own boyfriend. Heck, she wouldn't even dare admit that he was her boyfriend.

Severus on the other hand was constantly getting in fights. He served detention so many times that she would sometimes have to work on the potion alone. He would never want to tell her why he was fighting so much but she knew. Everywhere she went, she would hear it behind her back, 'mudblood, scum, filth..." the list went on. He was most likely defending her.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"He's right you know. They are getting everything, all the jobs, powerful positions and ministry is encouraging it."

Severus sat quietly behind a book while the rest of the people in the common room listened to Bellatrix and Aldolphus rant. It made him sick to his stomach that he had to pretend to be friends with these people. They were so caught up with all that pure blood rubbish. They were ofcourse getting it form their parents. Some of them were actually incapable of thinking for themselves. Their parents think he is right, so they think he is right. It was all very stupid.

"When we're finished with school, if Evans and I apply for the same job, who do you think will get it?"

Severus rose in his seat at the mention of her name. He was tired of people putting her name in their unworthy mouths.

"I can assure you that they will not care about the fact that I am a descendant of one of the oldest blood in the wizarding world, a and descendant of one of the greatest headmasters Hogwarts have ever seen...no they will give it to that filthy mudblood, with no name, no parentage... It's a disgrace. Blood Purity, that's what I say."

He wanted rip her eyes out, to kick her across the room and lead her into the supposed chamber of Secrets but he couldn't. He couldn't afford to get anymore detention, not when her birthday was so near. They had already decided that they would spend the day together. He couldn't do anything to risk it. She was looking forward to her sweet sixteen. He had to make it special for her.

He got up form the armchair he was sitting on and went up the stairs to the dorms. There he sat on his bed thinking about what he wanted to do for her birthday. He knew he had to get her something special but he had no money, he needed money. He had already given her everything imaginable that he didn't have to pay for. He even gave her a unicorn hair, that Hagrid, the game keeper helped him get. She loved that so much. But he couldn't do that again. No, he had to get some cash, and seeing as he had none to his name, he had to borrow some. Of course he had no idea who he was going to borrow from as he didn't have much friends or acquaintances. If he asked any Slytherin for money there would be endless questions and he sort of preferred not to put himself through it. So really there was no one to ask.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Two days later he still hadn't get the money that needed; she kept asking him what he was getting her. He couldn't tell her that he didn't know because he had no money. He was becoming extremely grumpy again.

'A phoenix feather, I can get her that. But how? The only person I know with a phoenix is the Headmaster. He's not going to allow me to pluck his phonix so I can get my gilfriend a gift. No I need money.'

He sat by the large almond tree near the lake thinking about alternatives when someone threw something at him. He was quite pleased being alone and was in no mood to be interrupted. "If I were you 'd I'd leave right now," he said to the offender.

"Calm down Snivillus, it's me."

James, he should have known. "Potter I'm not in the mood."

"I don't care," he said taking a seat next to him. He saw that Snape was about to get up but he pulled him back down. "It's Evans' birthday in two days."

What could he have meant by it, coming and telling him that? "I know," he spitted.

"So then you know that she is really looking forward to it."

This was becoming annoying. "Yes, what exactly is your point?"

James passed his hand through his hair. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. He took out a bag from his pocket and passed it to Severus.

Snape looked at the black bag that he had placed in front of him. "What's that?"

"Well I know you don't have any and you need some so..."

Snape took the bag up and opened it. It was money, some sickles and gallons. He threw the bag back at him. "I don't want your money."

James took up the bag and put in back in front of Severus. "I'm not asking you to take it, I'm telling you." Snape looked like he was about to attack him but he didn't care. "Listen, she has been going through a horrible spot since all these things started to happen, her birthday is the one thing she has been looking forward to. Since I'm not the one who can make it special for her you're going to have to do it Okay. I know you don't have money and you need it so you'll take it from me."

He was between a rock and a hard place. How could he accept money form James Potter, yet how could he stand the thought of ruining her birthday. He knew that his pride was all he had but if he could give it to her he would do it in a heartbeat. "I'll pay you back."

James suddenly looked quite disgusted with himself. "Gosh idiot don't, I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it her okay." He sighed and passed his hand through his hair again. "There's a clearing in the forest, no one will find you there. I guess it will be better than that room." He could see that Snape was surprised that he knew about the room of requirement. "Anyway, its all the way to the east edge of the forest where the lake forms sort of a bay. It's nice, take her there."

Before he could tell him anything, James got up and left leaving Severus feeling in two minds. He was now certain that he wasn't the only one who had loved Lily but he knew that he loved her more. He always knew that James fancied her but James was so immature he never thought it was anything serious. From the looks of it, it was very serious and this made Severus very uneasy.

NOTE: Okay, I was just so kind to James it's not funny. I can't believe I didit myself. Well, I guess I can say now that I don't like James. Ever since OOTP I couldn't help but hate him ( I don't care how old he was. That was one nasty person). But I'm not letting it affect my writing. I'm trying to redeem him. JK has to come so good with him in book 7.

So I got My reviews.Thanks a lot for all of them. The same thing applies. I'll update this story on Monday as long as I get four reviews.

I hate not getting reviews almost as much as I hate James.


	9. Chapter 9

NOTE: If you guys are still angry with me for saying I don't like James read my note at the bottom.

CHAPTER: Love Floats

"Open it," he said excitedly. Even though he knew that wealth did not matter to Lily he was certainly happy that he did get some money. From the moment he saw it in a book shop in Hogsmade he thought of her. He knew right away that it would have been a perfect gift for her but when he saw the price he almost fainted. There was no way he could have afforded it; the amount of loans he would have to take would have been endless. But he didn't need to; he got money form the most unlikely source, his rival, James.

She tore off the wrapping off a heavy package, that she was certain was a book. Underneath the paper was an electric blue box with engravings going down the side. It read "Advanced potions of Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow by Gilder Wilde'. She opened the box excitedly. The book was the most magnificent thing she had every seen. Just like the box, the book was covered in an electric blue snake skin and title was engraved in bold gold letters. "This is brilliant Severus, thank you so much." She seemed to be saying that a lot whole day. He had been showering her with gifts.

She opened the book and started to flip through the thick parchment pages. She stopped at the tables of contents and read the list of potions found in the book. These weren't your regular potions; they were far more advanced than any she had seen. "Polyjuice Potion, Veritaserum, Skelagrow... Oh my god, this must have cost fortune. How did you get it?" This would have seemed a rude question to ask someone but she and Severus had the sort of relationship where she could tell him anything, mostly because he could read minds.

"I sold my soul to the devil."

He said this as a joke but she was still curious. When she first started to be friends with Severus he told her that there were some things that he would never be able to tell her, she guessed that this was one of them.

It was really an awesome gift. He knew her so well. He seemed to put so much effort into making the day special for her. She was expecting them to spend it in the room of requirement like they usually did but instead he told her to meet him at the entrance of the forest, at the side of Hagrid's hut. The thought of going into the forest had her feeling uneasy but she had long learned that she could trust Severus with her life and he would never put her in harms way.

The payoff was worth the fuss. They walked through the forest for about Half and hour before they came to a part where the forest ended and meet the lake at a bay. It was beautiful. The canopy above provided a perfect shelter allowing a few rays of light to peek through the leaves.The forest looked even more enchanted than ever.

He had planed it well; when she got there he already had everything get up. On the floor he laid a large blanket, on it she could see the gifts he had brought her and large cake with her name on it. It almost brought tears to her eyes. If people only knew how he was with her, they would die of shock. (Note: I know this description sucks but I'm really not good at describing things)

She loved the moments she shared with him; she loved the feeling of knowing that she was the most important thing to him. He had told her so so many times. Even thoug he never came out and said it but she was certain that he was in love with her.

-

She loved it when he read to her; he had a very sexy voice.( NOTE: Shout out to Alan Rickman. he he). She would close her eyes and listen to his voice. She rested her head on his knee as he read out of the book he had just got her. It was just the introductory page but he made it sound like so much more.

"This second edition also contains notes on The Wolfsbane project, a top secrete potion that is a work in progress and is expected to be the greatest contribution to Potion making history since Felix Felicies."

"Wolfsbane, I wonder what that is." She opened her eyes and sat up. Severus closed the book and sighed. "Do you know what we should do?" she asked.

"What," he asked sounding intrigued.

"We should go in the lake."

"You do know that there are things in the lake right?"

"Well only small things come to the banks. I can form a bubble around us." She was pretty good at charms. She knew she could perform a charm to keep anything away form them.

It would have been very easy to penetrate her thoughts to get where she was going with this but he only did that when he felt like she wanted him to. He wasn't getting that feeling now. She was blocking him out. "Well we don't have anything to swim in."

"You are wearing underwear right?"

" Yessss." He suddenly liked the idea of this. Him and Lily swimming around half naked, he couldn't ask for anything more.

-o-o-o-o-o-o

The charm worked perfectly; there was a barrier around them and nothing was getting through. The water was just the right temperature, it was luke warm like the ocen on a hot summer day. It was so much fun; she had no idea why she didn't think of it before.

Severus, who seemed to be quite natural in water, was trying to teach her how to float but she was failing miserably.

"Don't get so tense," he told her for the tenth time. "Just relax."

She tried what he said, and just like before she began to panic and thought she was going to drown. "You're a aquarius; you're a natural in water," she told him

"That has nothing to with it. Horoscopes are one of the most unreliable disciplines in the world besided I'm a Capricorn" He put his hand on the small of her back. "Lean back into my hands" She did as he said with a smirk on her face. "Now close your eyes." She looked very hesitant to do this but she eventually did. "Now feel your body getting weightless, can you feel it."

"Yes but I still feel like I'm sinking," she complained.

"That's how it feels at first, don't worry I have you." He could tell that she was loosening her mussels; she was becoming lighter to him. "Now relax your body entirely. You will feel like your sinking at first but you'll rise up before you know it."

She did as he said, she made her self weightless and relaxed her body completely. Then she felt his hands leave her back, she panicked for a second but then she realised that she wasn't sinking, she was floating. "I'm doing it." She said laughing. "I can float, I can float. Wait till I tell Petunia this, she always laughs at me when our family go on vacation. She says 'Isn't it ironic that Lily can't float, she says they should have called me Titanic."

The stupid things Lily's sister would tell her always made him laugh. He reached out and took her hand."Feels nice, doesn't it."

He wished they could stay like that forever, away from all those judgmental people and just be alone together. The day couldn't have been better if he drank a vile full of Felix Felicies. He loved being near her, touching her, kissing her, holding her hand, reading to her. He still had a hard time believing that she was his and he was dreadfully afraid that someone would take her away from him.

NOTE: I feel like I cheated with this chapter. Not much Happened. But nothing to worry about. I plan on updating on Wednesday: 28/3/07. Look out fot it.

NOW TO BUSINESS: You guys are so angry with me cause I don't like James, right. Well I know I said I hated him but that was a strong word to use. Well The truth is when I read up to GOF I really liked James, I was so excited when Harry found out about Sirius and he had some people around who could tell him about James. At this point I kind of thought that Snape was a bit pathetic to be carrying around a grudge for all those years. But after I read OOTP I really chaged my opinion of them. It's not so much that I hate James but more that I was dissapointed to find out how he was. I realy felt Harry when he saw that. In fact that was the part I cried for, I didn't cry when Sirius died because I saw it coming. And in the mean time I started to like Snape, and JK wanted this. In this book she gave us enough information on Snape to sympathise with him. She wants to make readers confused about Snape. She wanted us to feel sorry for him in that book then hate him again in the HBP. But the thing with me is that I never stopped feeling sorry for him. And I decided that he was actaully a good person. I KNOW, I KNOW HE KILLED DUMBLEDORE...BUT DID HE REALLY. I don't think that he did. In fact I don't think that Dumbledore was dead until the part where his tomb burst into flames during his funeral. How I came up with this is a long story that I can not do justice here. So if you want to know it, review my story and put your e-mail address and I will tell you how and why I believe this.

Spoiler Alert.

Some of you may know the theory of DIATSSASE. It says that Dumbledore Impersonated a Trustworthy Severus Snape at Spiner's End (meaning Dumbledore took the vow and not Snape). If you want to know it don't forget to leave me your emial adress.


	10. Chapter 10

NOTE: So I made up a little story for Severus' family.

CHAPTER: Family Ties.

Severus hated the summer holidays. He hated to go home. When he was younger he would spend most of his days locked up in his bedroom trying to drown out the noise. His parents argued all the time. His father, the muggle, considered himself bamboozled into marrying his mother and he never passed up an occasion to remind her. Sometimes he would feel like a helpless deer that had wondered into a World War two battle, so much chaos all around and no one noticed him. They seemed determine to drive each other to an early grave. His mom won that war.

The medical examiner said that Tobias Snape had died from natural causes. The medical examiner didn't know that Elieen Prince was a witch.

There wasn't a more appropriate example for the term dysfunctional family. His father and mother stayed together to spit each other. He wondered why she never left him, she could have but she didn't, she stayed and endured all the abuse he put out. Day after day was the same thing. But for some reason that day she did something. Severus saw her brew the poison. He saw her slip it into their afternoon porridge, he saw he set three bowls on the table.

For a moment he thought about drinking it. It would have been great if they would all be put out of thier misery but then he noticed that he wasn't the problem, his mother wasn't the problem; the problem was his father. He made a split second decision. He watched as his father took the first mouthful of porridge then concentrated really hard...and everything before him exploded. The poison would never reach his mothers lips.

He was the one who cleaned up the mess, who called the ambulance, who took care of her after she realised what she had done. He thought that it would change after that, that she would see that she had a son who loved her and hoped that would have been enough but it wasn't. She missed the man who had caused her so much pain, she wanted to be with him and once again she didn't have time to notice her own son.

She was not the same after that. She was inconsolable, she was a mess, she neglected her self as punishment, only eating enough to stay alive and Severus nursed her through it. She was helpless with out him and he wanted it to stop, he wanted her to put herself out of her misery, not because he hated her but because he still loved her.

He had never really known his mother; he never even knew what a real mother looked like or acted like. It was the strangest feeling in the world to see what a great mother and a loving father was. Lily's parents were the exact opposite of his.

She had invited him to finish brew the potion at her house. He didn't hesitate to say yes but he felt terribly guilty for it. When he wasn't home a nurse would take care of his mother. However she still asked for him. She would write him everyday while he was there.

_Severus when will you be home, I need to see your face._

She sent it almost everyday. He would always send the same reply saying that he would be home soon but the truth was he didn't want to go home. He grew wary of his mother telling him how much he looked like his father. He was in a loving home for once in his life; he would have loved to stay forever.

When he got there he was surprised by the reaction he got.

"This must be Severus," her mother said. She actually reached out and hugged him. She had a similar warm feeling that Lily had. He tried his best to hide the fact that this wasn't normal to him, that he had come form a family that wasn't like theirs.

o-o-o-o-o

They organised for him to stay in Lily's room and Lily was to stay with her sister. He rested his trunk at the foot of the bed and looked around the room. The walls were a pale peach colour with tiny red roses painted on it. Her bed was a queen size bed that was layered with floral sheets and almost completely covered with pillows. On her walls were pictures of her and her friends .In one of the photos Victoria was waving furiously at him and Emma was looking like she didn't want to be in the photo at all.

"I hope it's not too girly," Lily said form the doorway.

He smiled at her. "No it's perfect, it's you."

"Petunia is home, why don't you come down and meet her?"

He nodded, he had met all her family and they all seemed nice. He thought nothing of meeting her sister; in fact he was interested to see what she looked like.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Lily, he's _awful_," Petunia whispered.

"No, he isn't, he's very sweet."

She and Petunia were sharing a bed to make room for Severus. They spent the night talking and gossiping about what had gone on during the year. Lily had decided to ask her sister what she thought of Severus.

"He's so weird... and I thought you were a freak." She always made fun of Lily calling her all sorts of names. "Do you actually like him?"

"Well I wouldn't be dating him if I didn't"

Petunia sighed. "I think you're too young to be dating, you're fifteen. How old is he?"

"Petunia, he's seventeen and I'm sixteen; you forgot my birthday."

She let out a gasp. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I've been so busy."

"It's okay. But next year..." She tugged on the blanket that Petunia was hogging.

"Don't hog the sheets Lily. Why don't you go sleep with your boyfriend," she joked. "I imagine it must be very difficult to have normal relationship when you're locked up in a castle."

"Oh, we have our ways of doing what we have to do." She didn't need the lights to be on to know that Petunia was looking quite alarmed.

"Lily, what do you mean by that, what have you been doing with that boy?"

She loved to torture her. "Use your imagination..."

"I will do no such thing. I can't believe you, he's so unattractive."

Lily punched her on her arms. "I will love to see the guy you bring home; Miss I-think- every-one-who- doesn't-look- like-John-Travolta-Is- unattractive"

"Oh this has nothing to do with that. Lily, have you seen him, his hair, what on earth is up with his hair. What could you possibly see in him?"

Lily sighed. "If you only knew how much he cares for me. I mean he knows more about me than you." Petunia was silent. It was no secrete that they weren't the closest of sisters. "He's so talented. He can do things that I can't dream of...He can even do legilimency."

"What's that, you know I hate it when you talk about all that hocus pocus."

"He can read minds." She said simply.

"WHAT?" she shouted. Petunia sat up in her bed.

"Keep your voice down, people can hear you." Lily pulled her back down.

"You mean to tell me that weirdo has been reading my mind?"

"No, I doubt he will. He doesn't care about you."

"Thank god." She shifted in her bed and touched Lily on her hand to indicate that she had something important to talk about. "Lily you told me how you feels about you but how do you feel about him?"

Lily thought about the question. She had been dying to discuss her relationship with Severus to someone but no one really knew about it. "I like him a lot but I know I'll probably never like him as much as he likes me."

"How much does like you."

She was thankful for the dark because she knew she was blushing. "He's in love with me, I can tell."

"He's only seventeen how can he be in love?"

"Well he's a very passionate person, it's either he hates you to death or he loves you to death. I fall in the later category thankfully."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well he is not the sort of person who you want to hate you. He can really do a lot of damage if he wants." Petunia let out a weird sort of sound. "He'll never do anything to hurt me. The very thought of me in any form of pain scares him." She sighed.

"So you're saying he's a perfect for you then?"

Lily snorted. "No, he's very selfish. He's not willing to do anything for anyone who is not himself or me."

"And that's a problem?" she asked as a joke.

"He will let a hundred people die if it means that I will live. He is quite contented to think that we are the only people in the world that matter. There's so much he could do...he's so talented...but he will never commit to do anything unless he feels he has to." She knew that Petunia had no idea what she was talking about and she knew that she probably didn't care. "I'm just not sure if that's good enough for me."

NOTE: As you can see the dream of finishing this in ten chapters is over. I'm aiming for fifteen.

What did you think about this one. What do you think about how I enterpreted Lily's realationship with Petunia.

Next chapter comes on the 2/4/07

So go on then, drop me a review...


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER: The Birds and the Bees

He imagined that the way he was feeling was the same way a muggle would feel upon entering Hogwarts, scared and fascinated at the same time. Even though his father was muggle he was not accustom to muggle life. The truth was his father was terribly embarrassed of him and his mother. He never allowed him to venture further than the end of their street by the sign that read Spinners End. He had never taken them out for dinner and movie, no where public, there were confined to his mother's cramped house that he had insisted upon her buying.

The idea of muggles accepting wizards in their home was something foreign to him. He knew some students who came from muggle homes but he didn't know that there were muggle parents who actually liked the fact that they had managed to make magical children. He imagined that his birth was a big disappointment to his father, who always detested magic.

Lily's parents loved her. They were the sort of parents who supported their children. Though he could tell that they tried not to have favorites, he knew that she was theirs. This was perfectly understandable as Lily's sister did not inherit anything from their mother, not the looks, the charisma nor tact. Petunia was not nearly as pretty as Lily; she was brutally honest and was as cuddly as a porcupine. Then again this was the same girl who told her only sister, "I love you but I don't like you." It was like saying I only tolerate you because you are family.

On the first Saturday he spent there they were going to the movies. He had never been to the movies; in fact he had never seen a movie in its entirety. His father who was also a big fan of movies had the television set locked in the basement away from him. He would sometimes tell his mother that he was going to the movies; to provoke her he was certain. He had never once invited them to join him. When he was seven that use to break his heart but by the time he was nine he had learnt not hope.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He came out the room dressed in a light blue shirt that Lily had brought him during the year. He never wanted to wear it. He was so afraid that he would spill something on it. It was the only gift he had ever received and he planed to keep it forever. However, Lily asked him if he didn't like it and why he never wore it so he decided to pull it out of his trunk where he still had it in its original wrapping.

Petunia looked at him and turned up a nose. He didn't need to read her mind to know she hated him. He was okay with that as she didn't seem like she liked a lot of people.

"Aren't you going to do something about your hair?" she asked after about five minutes of fussing and fuming going ignored.

"No," he said simply. Lily told him to ignore her and that was exactly what he planed to do.

She screwed up and her face in a very ugly way and started to mumble something about 'if my friends see us with him...'

o-o-o-o-o-o

The movie they were going to see was something called Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. (Note: Just totally ignore the fact that this movie came out in 1981). Lily said that all her muggle friends had already seen it and she was dying to see it. Her parents said they would take the family for a night out in London. He had never been out for a night out before. The comparison between his parents and Lily's parents were making him slightly depressed but happy at the same time. It was like they belonged to different worlds.

-o-o-o-o-

After the movie they walked outside the multiplex amid crowds of excited people talking about what just happened in the movie. Severus himself had enjoyed it and was having a hard time resisting the urge to talk to a group of complete strangers. It was one of the greatest experiences in his life. He now understood why his father liked movies so much it was like magic but for muggles.

They were discussing the movie when Lily's father interrupted them. "So what do you say we go get something to eat?"

Lily smiled. "Sure dad."

Lily's father then waved her away with his hands. "Not you Lily I was talking to the boy, what do you say we have a guy's night out?"

Severus who had never been asked such a question looked reluctantly from her father to Lily. What could he mean by it? Lily seemed to have a knowing smile on her face. She nodded at him to indicate that it was okay. "Sure, Mr. Evans."

Mr. Evans then looked over to his wife who had the same look on her face as Lily. "Lily why don't we go get something at that place you like." Lily nodded ad head in the opposite direction with her mother and Petunia who had a smirk on her face.

o-o-o-o-o

Severus and Mr. Evans had walked into an Irish style Fish and Chips restaurant. The place was packed but they managed to get a table in the back of the restaurant. When they took their seats the waitress rested two large pitchers of beer on the table in front of them along with their menus. Her father took a sip of the beer and smiled.

"Beastly cold, just how I like it," he said. He looked expectantly at Severus. "Go ahead try it?"

Severus looked into his eyes. He knew he was cheating but he couldn't help it. "I don't drink sir."

He looked like Christmas came early. "That's my boy. I knew I raised a smart girl." He called the waitress over and ordered some soda for Severus instead. "So…"

"Yes sir…" Severus said cautiously. He knew what this talk was going to be about.

"So you like my daughter?"

He shrugged. "A little."

Mr. Evans was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. "A little? That's not what I heard. Petunia tells me it's a little more than that." He looked up at him from behind the menu he was reading.

Severus couldn't imagine what Petunia could have told them. He and Petunia never really had a conversation. The only way she could have known about his relationship with Lily was if Lily told her about it. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Ah…" He didn't know what to say and he was terribly afraid of saying the wrong thing. He still had his eyes on the menu so it was impossible to see penetrate his mind.

"Its okay son, I was once your age. I just think that when we're young we like to convince ourselves we're in love but really at such a young age you can't really know what love is."

How dare he tell him what he was feeling? He didn't know what it was like for him before her.

"I don't mean to seem like one of those preachy adults but…"

He knew that he shouldn't say anything but he had too. He had to understand that he wasn't just some young fool who was incapable of understanding deeper emotions. "I know what you think sir but you're wrong."

He took a while to say anything. He just looked at him with pity in his eyes. "Am I?"

"Well yes… I know I'm young but…"

"Yes…" he said challenging him.

Severus sighed. "Well tonight before we came here, I tried on a shirt I had since I was fourteen. It didn't fit." He could tell by the look on his face that he didn't catch his point. "Well you see I used to get teased all the time because of how thin I am… was actually. I used to try to eat so much to gain weight but I never did… We've only been dating for about four months and suddenly things can't fit me anymore." He looked at him for a long while then nodded. It was strange but he got the feeling that he understood him.

-

"So, what did you and my father talk about?" Lily asked Severus. They were in the basement where they had set up their potion to finish brewing.

He shrugged. "Nothing really."

"He wasn't too hard on you right… I don't know what Petunia said to them."

He smiled inwardly. "Don't worry; I think its fine with him as long as I don't try to do anything… you know…"

She giggled at this. "Oh and what will they do if we already did."

He shrugged. "I don't know but he said if I try to, he's got a forty-five and a shovel."

Lily burst into laughter. "He's such a liar. He doesn't have a forty-five"

He didn't fully understand him when he said that. "What's a forty-five anyway?"

She tried to contain herself. "It's a gun. He's saying he'll kill you then bury you.

"Oh..." It was the best threat he had ever received.

"So what did you think of the movie?" Lily asked after catching her breath.

"It was fantastic, it's sort of like magic isn't it. How did they get those things to fly without magic?"

It always fascinated her, the things wizards were amazed by. "They weren't actually flying, it's special effects."

They talked about it for more than an hour making comparisons to the wizarding world.

" Sev, what would you do if you were about to defeat _you know who_ and he said: _Severus I'm your father?."_

"Then I would have traded up," he said sarcastically.

"Don't joke, I was being serious."

He sighed. He never told Lily how his father died. "I'll kill him anyway, serves the bastard right."

She got the feeling that he wasn't talking about Voldermort. He always got extreamly touchy about the subject of his father. "Or you can send him to Azkaban."

He snorted at this. "Ha, he'll have a ball in there. It's sort of like that movie, the dememtors, though thier working for the government are also working for him, they're like the Stormtroopers."

She sighed and looked over the motion that was now a perfectly golden colour like the book described. " Do you know much about them?"

He always loved impressing her with his knowledge, infact it was one of the few things he had going for him. "Well form what I read they suck every happy feeling out of you, they feed off misery."

" Well that was smart of the Government to put such creatures in charge of guarding prisons."

"I know but the sort of man power it will require to have regular wizards guard dark wizards..."

There was a loud creaking that forced Lily and Severus to look to the stairs. For while all thye could see was a pair of feet then they saw Petunia, she walked down a little further and peaked in on them them, rolled her eyes and walked back up the stairs.

Lily giggled at this. " She seemed dissapointed. I don't know what she thinks we were doing in here."

" Some how I don't think she'll mind, seeing me shot and burried."

NOTE: This will be last of the uneventful chapters. I just wanted to get some things like Petunia knowing about Dementors out of they way. So now that that is done...I'll be really getting down to business in the next chatper.

BTW..I used a little line from the movie Clueless... did you spot it?

Anyway expect an update on the 4/4/07


	12. Chapter 12

NOTE: Well Well Well. Not a single review, I'm hurt. Nah, I noticed that everyone seemed to update on that day. I ususally update on these days because I think it's the least crowded days but... I guess everyone is thinking like me now. anyway. I'll be changing the summary soon so look out for it. Also if I say I'll update on a particula day and you don't see it by at least the next day...look for it, it will definately be there. use the search icon

CHAPTER: TWO FOR ONE

By the end of three weeks the potion was brewed and it was time for him to go home. They had agreed to split it two ways but Lily had decided that the temptation to drink the whole lot would have been too great and she decided to give it all to him.

He felt the worst sort of sadness imaginable on his way home, the kind that you feel you could never recover from. It was like he was being reminded that he was a nobody and will always be that way.

He reached home one a hot Sunday afternoon to find his mother in the same place where he left her almost a year ago. In the bed upstairs, looking like a leave in autumn that was about to break off of its stem.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

The summer didn't go by as quickly as he hoped. Even though most of the time he spent tending to his mother, making sure she ate, making sure she took her potion and all the other things he had to do for her, he would still try to sneak away and get a owl out to Lily. It reminded him of better times.

On the 1st of September he felt like he could breathe again, like the smoke clouding his lungs had finally cleared. His class schedule didn't change much form last year except that more classes were added. It was a plus and a minus because while he would be spending more time with Lily in class, they would have less time together out of class. He had already secured a copy of the Gryffindor time table and worked out the times he and Lily could see each other. They only really had Saturdays and Fridays outside of class.

o-o-o-o-o

The first day of September was usually a happy day for Lily. But this year it wasn't the same. When she came back from school she couldn't help but notice that some of the students were missing. She knew what it mean right away, that there had been more killings than the daily prophet had been reporting.

She found out from James that some parents were afraid to send their children back to Hogwarts with Dumbledore as Headmaster. They thought that it would show direct defiance to Voldermort. She was bitterly disappointed by the news that some people where not willing to stand up to him.

James had been different the later part of the last semester. The new attitude had continued on into the new semester. She wasn't the only one who seemed to have noticed this, Dumbledore made him head boy. It was the first time in seventeen years that the head boy and head girl came from the same house for she was the new head girl.

The very first conversation she had with James at the beginning of the term was not about anything silly like, begging to be her boy friend. It was very serious. He wanted help in potions.

"The entry level competency exam for joining the Aurors required that I have at least an Exceeds Expectations in NEWT potions. Right now I'm in line for a T."

Seeing as this was terribly important and it went well beyond anything that may have happened in the past she agreed to do it. It was al part of the pledge to do what ever they could to help defeat Lord Voldermort. She only wondered how Severus would take it.

o-o-o-o-o

"Okay Potter, what would you get if you add a powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"A powdered root of what to an infusion of what?" James asked completely confused.

Lily sighed. "Come on James, this is basic stuff, you should know this."

He frowned to himself. He had no idea why this was so hard for him. "Lily, I just can't seem to get this."

"You have to apply yourself. Slughorn told us this in our second year."

He sighed looking around the empty classroom that hadn't been in used for years. One of the benefits of being the head boy was that he got to go just about every where in the castle and not have to worry about receiving detention. Another benefit was that he didn't have to procure some artificial reason to talk to her; they were supposed to meet for consultation every other day. Even Dumbledore seemed to have thought that they would make a nice pair. But no, for some unfathomable reason she was with Snevillus.

In all fairness it was his fault. He had been a royal idiot, he was immature. When he looked back at it he would cringe at the memory, but he was still certain that Severus was worst, he actually called her a mudblood. But Lily wasn't the type to hold grudges; she must have forgiven him for that. He wondered, what where the words he said, was he some sort of wordsmith, a budding Shakespeare or something? How did he get her to fall for him? How was he able to keep her for all those months? "Is he good to you?"

"Slughorn?" She asked confused.

He laughed at this. "No." He adjusted his glasses on his face. "Snev...I mean Severus?"

Lily sighed. "Come on, you're supposed to be focusing on Potions."

"I know but... It will be easier to focus if I know..."

She looked at him in his eyes as if trying to determine if she could trust him or not. "You think I'm crazy right?"

He shrugged.

"Well I'm not, If you knew him like I know him, how he has allowed me to know him, you'll understand. James, there isn't a doubt in my mind that he cares about me more than it's humanly possible to care for someone."

He wanted to say...'I do too' but it wouldn't prove anything except that he was immature. "As long as you're happy with him... I mean I don't get it...but."

She gave him a calculating look. He cleared his throat and looked down at his text. He flipped through the back of the book and turned to the glossary. He stopped at asphodel and read. "Ah ha, I'll get a sleeping draught."

"That's cute James but you're supposed to know it by heart."

"What's that you say, you think I'm cute?" She shoved him on his shoulder and snickered at him.

o-o-o-o-o

Severus laid on his four poster bed staring at the curtains, there were green. It reminded him of her eyes. God he missed those eyes. It had been two weeks since he had seen her alone. Their usual meeting place had shut itself against them since the start of the term, it must have been occupied. They were looking for another location but it was proving more difficult that than they thought. Everywhere seemed out of bounds or occupied by a ghost or a frequent host to peeves, the poltergeist. The only time they had together was in the Potions room on a Saturday, and that was limited as Lily was now head girl and was forced to have meetings with James every other Saturday to discuss lord knows what.

He sighed and turned on his bed. The night before he had a horrible dream where he was on a boat in a lake with Lily and James flew by on his broom and picked her off, much like a gull diving for fish. He couldn't help but be worried. James being head boy and Lily being head girl meant that they would have to spend a significant amount of time together. He could only imagine how James was poisoning her mind against him, trying to steal the one thing that was worth anything to him. He probably told her that he had to lend him money to buy her a gift. He cursed under his breath, he knew he shouldn't have taken that money. He used the whole round of Felix Felicies to pay him back. He sold every last drip to a dealer in Diagon Alley. He got enough money repay him and had a little left over to buy something for Lily.

He turned in his bed once more. He had the stifling feeling that felt so familiar, the kind he would get when he was home. He couldn't sleep, he was very restless. He needed to see her. He got up from his bed and ran down the cold brick stairs to the Slytherin common room. The black chairs that furnished the room were empty, the coast was totally clear. "Libby," he whispered. He waited a couple of seconds, and then called again. "Libby."

CRACK

"Master, you called."

"I need you to tell Lily to meet me in the Moaning Murtle's Bathroom."

"Even is Master Lily is sleeping."

"Yes tell her it's important."

CRACK

o-o-o-o-o-o

CRACK

Lily woke up a start. There was a loud crack about the room, she squinted in the dark, trying to see what was going on. "Who's there?" she asked.

"Only Libby Miss Lily."

She rubbed her eyes and looked at the source of the voice. It was the house elf that had delivered the message from Severus, he would always use this particular one but she couldn't figure out why he would send her in the middle of the night.

o-o-o-o

She walked into the bathroom cautiously. She had crept out the portrait hole about five minutes ago with her heart racing, she was terribly afraid that something was wrong. He was standing leaning against the sink that always seemed to be broken. "Sev, are you okay." She moved briskly to him and placed her hand on his cheeks that used to be sullen, he had gained weight in the past months, and it suited him more.

It was the most comforting feeling in the world. He felt like he was brought back to life. He nodded. "I just needed to see you to..."

She rapped her arms around him. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he needed that. "What's the matter Sev."

He could smell the honey and strawberries of her shampoo and he felt like he was were he supposed to be, he could breathe again. "Are we okay?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" She looked into his eyes. At first glance you would swear that had eyes that were as black as the night but when you looked long enough you would see that his eyes were actually brown.

"Have you suddenly come to the realisation that you have gone mad and that I am not good enough for you."

She pulled him closer to her. "Severus, you're just as good as anyone, better than most, you just have to see it in yourself." She felt him ease in her arms. "We are definitely okay."

She knew that this was the perfect opportunity to tell him that she had been tutoring James, but she couldn't just say it. He would be furious, he hated James. He had already said some awful things about Dumbledore because of his rules about the head boy and girls having meetings. She knew that he felt insecure about her and James. They were enemies in every way imaginable.

o-o-o-o-o

She had no idea if it was punishment for keeping it from Severus but something horrible happened the very next day. It first reached her ears when she reached down to the common room. "Lily and James, finally."

She didn't' know what they were talking about at first but then she heard it from Alice Terry, a Gryffindor girl a year younger than her. "So you and James are finally dating."

"What?" she said. She couldn't believe it, why were people saying that. A shot of fear worked its way up through her veins. She couldn't even begin to imagine what would happen if Severus heard it. She looked over the Slytherin table to see that he wasn't there. The panic got even worse because she knew that Severus was an early riser, he must have heard the rumour.

NOTE: Sorry but you know it had to happen.

So I'll update on Monday.. Easter monday I think it is..9/04/07. Look out for it..


	13. Chapter 13

NOTE: Thanks for all the reviews guys:

CHAPTER: The Hospital Wing.

Lily had never been to the Slytherine Common room before but she knew where it was. She walked down the stairs that led to the dimly lit corridor. Their portrait whole was different then the Gryffindor's portrait. There was a bearded man that looked like the picture of Ivan the Terrible that she saw in a book once. She didn't know the pass word so she stood by waiting for someone to come out. After about five minuets a fair-haired girl came out with a smug look on her face.

"That's odd," she said. "I could have sworn I saw Filch sweeping the filth off the floor, looks like he missed something."

Narcissa Black, was the sister of Bellatrix Black, even though she was generally pretty she had the look of someone who had smelt something particular fowl. Lily was not on speaking terms with her, she like her sister was one of those people who were all about pure blood pride, all the Blacks that ever passed through the school were, except for Sirius. "Narcissa, I don't think I have to remind you that I am head girl and I can and will report you to the Headmaster."

"On what grounds Evans?" she scoffed.

Lily rolled her eyes. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with her just then. "Listen, can you go fetch Severus for me, it's very important that I speak to him."

"Severus doesn't associate with mudbloods Evans, surly he must have told you that."

Lily could feel her blood starting to boil. "If you don't step out of the way, I swear I will jinx you."

Narcissa looked amused by the prospect. "You, jinx me? I have to write Bellatrix, she'll have a field day with this one. I assume that you think you can do what ever you feel now that my sister has left? You'll be a fool to think so."

For some reason Narcissa seemed to be of the opinion that she was afraid of Bellatrix. "I don't care about that inbreed," she scoffed. She seemed to have touched a nerve with her because at that moment she took out her wand and pointed it at Lily. "Apologize you unworthy piece of filth."

Lily, who had just about had it with her took out her wand and pointed it at Narcissa. "Eat Slugs you cockroach." She muttered a jinx that hit Narcissa square in the chest. She looked at her in horror. She raised her wand to say something but instead of words a fresh, alive slug spilled out of her lips.

Just then the portrait hole opened once more. This time it was Regulas Black, who was in the same year as Narcissa and was the brother of Sirius. He looked at Lily and then to Narcissa who was tying to explain what happened to her to him but only slugs kept coming out of her mouth.

"Good," exclaimed Lily. "You can help your cousin stop spilling her guts all over the place. Or shall I say future wife, god knows how you lot love to marry each other."

She turned on her heel and marched back down the corridor.

She didn't know what she was hoping to achieve by going down there. She should have known that would happen. The situation had only gotten worse, she didn't get to talk to Severus and she attacked another student. She could tell it was going to be a long day.

-o-o-o-o-

After Ancient Runes she ran down the stairs to the dungeon hoping to catch Severus there, so she could have a chat with him. But when she arrived to the classroom he wasn't there, instead she saw James sitting in his usual seat in the back of the class. She turned to him. "Have you seen Severus?" She asked urgently.

He shook his head. "He wasn't in Transfiguration either. Knott said he got sick after having breakfast this morning."

She frowned at this. He did indeed hear the rumor. How was he going to believe her when she didn't tell him that she had been tutoring James? She passed her hands through her hair and sighed.

James himself had heard the rumor, though every bone in his body wanted people to believe it, he did try to discourage it. He knew that Severus had heard it because he saw him leaving when he had entered the common room. He was going to insult him but he rushed off so quickly that he hardly got a chance to get his name out of his mouth. He knew that this was bothering Lily. "You think that he heard the rumor?" She said nothing; instead she just looked at him and walked over to her seat. He could tell from the look on her face that she thought that he had started the rumor. He got up and walked over to her. "I didn't start it you know?"

Her eyes were now puffy with tears. "Of course not," she said sarcastically. "That's a nice way to repay me for helping you… just leave me alone okay." She wiped the tears from her cheeks with the palms of her hands.

It really hurt him that her opinion of him was so low. "I wouldn't do that," he said but the tears that were there had just been replaced by some fresh ones. "I'll talk to him if you like; tell him that it's not true."

"No thanks, I think you've done quite enough already."

He stood there stupidly, for a while looking at her. He wanted so badly to hold her, to tell her that everything would be alright but he couldn't. He walked back to his seat slowly at the sound of Slughorn entering the classroom.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Severus laid in the hospital bed looking at the empty bed next to his. He felt sick to his stomach, his face was hot, his head was spinning and he felt too weak to do anything. He had been such idiot. He had no idea why he even thought it was possible, why he could even concoct such an illusion of perfection as being the truth, why he thought that she cared for him. He felt his stomach do a turn at thought of it. 'I should have known, why I didn't I see it'. He was now convinced that he had been the butt of a horrible joke. No doubt it was planned all along. He was certain that James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and just about every Gryffindor were having a grand old laugh at his expense.

He closed his eyes and the image of Lily laughing at him while sitting on James' lap. He tired desperately to shut it out, but it wouldn't leave him. It wanted him to remember that he was nothing, that he would always be nothing. He felt his throat get tight for the millionth time since the day began. He was confused mightily and it gave him a head ache. He couldn't understand how it could have missed him. He was certain that she cared… 'Didn't she kiss me?' he asked himself, 'Didn't we have our moments?' he cursed himself for the thought. Or course it was all elaborately planned by Potter. She and him probably had sit down sessions, planning how next to excite poor, pathetic Senevillus. "I curse you James," he said holding his head to fight the pain.

However awful he was feeling could not compare to how pathetic he thought himself to be because at that moment he couldn't bring himself to think a bad thought against her. He tried mightily but instead her smile would come into his mind, the feel of soft skin and the way that it felt against his… He hated what she had done to him, she had made him weak and it was all James' fault. He was certain he was mastermind behind it. Lily would never do that. 'Not my precious Lily,' said to himself. Then he remembered that she wasn't really his anyway.

He closed his eyes at the sound of footsteps approaching him.

"Proffesor I thought it best that I called you since you are the head of Slytherin House. He came here late this afternoon, said he was too ill and wished to take the train back home."

"What's wrong with him," he heard Professor Slughorn ask Miss Promfrey. "He looks horrible." He could now hear him walking around the bed.

Miss Promfrey sighed. "That's just it Horace. The boy is in perfect heath except for the fact that he is terribly ill."

The room was silent for a while then the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs prompted Miss Promfrey to speak again. "You can go discuss it with the Headmaster because I believe this boy is making himself sick. I have to go tend to Remus."

o-o-o-o-o

"And he says he wants to take the train back home?" Dumbledore asked Miss Pomfrey.

They had been there for several minuets discussing him, like he wasn't in the room. But in all fairness they thought he was asleep. He kept his eyes shut and listened to what the headmaster's reaction would be.

"Well surly Severus knows that it's not possible. Sometime when students get down for what ever reason they feel like they want to go home put in the end it's just a passing thing, t h e night always turns to day eventually.?"

Severus has a weird feeling like Dumbledore knew that he wasn't asleep and was really directing his speech at him. But it puzzled him mightily. How could he recover form this betrayal, how could he go back to being who he was when he had allowed her so much access. No, something had to give.

"I wish to speak with him alone," he said to Poppy.

"The boy needs rest," she protested.

"Oh but I think he wouldn't mind waking from his slumber for just a moment."

He could hear the sounds of Slughorn and Miss Promfrey leaving the room. Dumbledore walked over to him and placed his hand his shoulders. He opened his eyes slowly, in a pathetic attempt to look like he had been sleeping. He had no idea whom this was to benefit as he was certain Dumbledore knew that he was awake. " Headmaster," he said.

"Good night, Severus," Dumbledore said slowly. "Slughorn tells me that you wish to leave the school."

Severus still doing a poor acting job, sat up slowly. "Yes sir, I'm not well. I think I need my mom to take care of me."

Dumbledore had the saddest expression on his face. He glanced around the room, as if to make sure they were indeed alone. "You know as well as I that Elieen Snape is in no condition to take care of anyone."

His eyes dropped to the blanket that was covering him. How did he know about that? He was certain that no one in Hogwarts knew about the state his mother was in. He felt his throat seize up again. This was the worst day in his life; he had been futilely fighting back tears all day.

"Is there something that's bothering you Severus?" The old man lifted his chin and looked directly into his eyes. In Slythrine house no one bothered to ask anyone anything, they just used legilemency on them. He could tell that Dumbledore was attempting do that but it felt different, it felt like he was trying to understand him, to help him. But even so, he couldn't allow him access.

"I'm just not feeling well Headmaster; I think it will do me well to have a change of scenery."

Dumbledore, sensing that Severus didn't want to tell him what was bothering him gave out a heavy sigh. "You know what the portrait of former headmaster Phillius Black says to me almost every week?" Severus shook his head. "He says: Never try to understand students, they wish to remain tragically misunderstood." Severus was silent. Dumbeldroe just looked around the room for a while, then narrowing his attention to another empty bed. "When I was in Hogwarts I spent many a nights here in this wing."

For some reasons he never knew Dumbledore went to Hogwarts. "Really sir?"

"Yes I used to experiment a great deal with spells, some went tragically wrong. I dear say I am the reason why most of the rules have been created. I don't think the hospital wing could afford to have more students like me. Inventing spells is dangerous business."

"I know sir, I have invented some myself."

Even though Dumbeldore was unable to get what was bothering him. He was able to get a close enough glimpse into his character to know what would help him gain his trust. "Well I have heard that you are extremely talented and Professor Slughorn speaks very fondly of you."

It surprised him to know that anyone spoke of him in a positive light, he was always certain that no one liked him.

"Well I think it will disappoint a lot of people if you were to leave school?"

"I doubt that," he said quickly before he could stop himself.

"Your one of our brightest this year Severus, I don't see the point in leaving school when you are so close to completing it." Severus was silent he only looked away. " I know it may be difficult to imagine but I was young once. I know when things happened and I felt like I'm certain you are feeling now, we seem to think it the worse thing possible and in reality it is really magnified ten times by our imagination." He let his words linger. "Don't let your imagination carry you away form what it is you want in life."

Did the Headmaster have a point, was he just imagining this. But how could he be, it was clear as day, Lily was with James and there was no two ways about it. But what he said did make something click in his head. Why should he throw away his future because of Potter? Potter, was the one who was causing all his misery, it was Potter's fault why he lost Lily. Potter should be the one to leave school not him.

Dumbledore walked away from the bed. "Summon me in the morning if you still feel ill, I'll see what I can do then but do sleep on it tonight."

The old man walked out of the room with his robes swishing behind him. He stared at him as he left through the door. He closed his eyes and thought. "Yes… I will get James kicked out of this school if it's the last thing I do…"

o-o-o-o-o-o

Severus walked into the Slytherin common room around midday on that Wednesday. He was told that he didn't need to ho to class and he felt no urge to as he was certain that James and his minions would have been in Transfiguration making fun of him.

In the corner sat Regulus Black and his cousin Narcissa. They were discussing something very quietly in the corner. He ignored them and made a bee line to his dorm.

He planned to try to get some sleep because he was unable to sleep a wink the night before. He stayed in bed with his eyes closed but he was still unable to sleep. All he could think about is Lily with James. He could still feel himself getting sick at the thought.

He wasn't sure how long he had been lying awake but he could hear a group of students coming form classes above his head. He knew that soon he would have company so he closed his eyes and tried to look like he was sleeping.

"Oi, Severus," the voice of Cross Surgarman said. He tried to ignore it but the boy came and shook him awake. "Severus."

He opened his eyes lazily. "Yes," he said through his teeth.

"Did you hear?"

"Did I hear what?" He wanted to strangle the life out of him. He was so sick of all of them. He just hated everyone.

"What they did to that mudblood."

The word mudblood caused him to sit up in his bed. There weren't many people in the school that they referred to as mudblood and Lily was one of them. He couldn't imagine what they would do to her. "Who did what to which...ah… mudblood?"

Cross chuckled. "Its Evans…Don't know who did it… she's been poisoned."

Note: Nice place to end huh?

Expect an update 11/04/07


	14. Chapter 14

NOTE: You have no idea how hard I worked on this chapter. It was so difficult to write this form Snape's POV so I decided to write it form James' POV. So here goes. Not my best work but...

CHAPTER: THE JOB.

James stood beyond the door staring at the crowd that had gathered around Lily's bed. He felt sick to his stomach. He just couldn't understand it. One moment she was talking to her friends and opening some package and then just like that she was on the floor, convulsing. His mind was screaming at him to do a million and one things but his body did what it thought best. It went right to her. People in the great hall were staring, younger ones were screaming. He tried to block it out.

"Lily, "he shouted at her holding her up, she didn't respond, her body was limp. "Go get a teacher," he shouted to no one particular.

It seemed to have taken forever for McGonagall to get there, all the while her face getting paler the crowd getting bigger and his heart beating faster.

It took nearly five minuets for her to reach to the hospital wing. They spent the greater part of an hour deciding how best to treat her and warding off curious students. They only allowed him to stay because they too believed that he was Lily's girlfriend and he guessed the look on his face was not helping to disprove their assumption.

Even the person who sent Lily the flower that poisoned her thought that they were together, they signed the card James and he knew he did not send it. He was almost certain it was Slytherin, they were the only ones who weren't concerned, and in fact some of them looked delighted.

Then something entered his head that he really hoped wasn't the truth. What is Severus sent it? What if he heard the rumour and sent her the flower for revenge? Severus was always interested in dark arts and there was definitely some dark arts involved but was he that bad... would he do that to her?

"What happened?" a voice form behind him asked.

James turned around to see Severus looking as pale as ever and trying to catch his breath. He suddenly felt anger erupt from his insides like a something was consuming him. He shoved him against the wall with full force. "Like you don't know," he grunted. As scrony as Severus looked he was able to put up a good fight. He pushed James against the other wall. "I have no idea what you talking about."

"Well someone sent it to her," he replied.

"I don't even know what 'it' is... I was in the dorm for most of the day."

James looked away from him and back to the mass of teachers that were surrounding her. "I hope for your sake it's true." And he meant it because there was no telling what he would have done if he found out he had something to do with it.

"Do you really think I would harm a hair on her head just because she's with you?"

James just looked at him slightly. "She's not, that was a rumour. She was trying to talk to you to tell you but you wouldn't see her."

James could see that Severus was doing some quick thinking, trying to determine what to say.

He pretended to ignore what James had just told him. "How did it happen?"

James sighed and passed his hand though his hair, messing it up even more. "Well she got a gift box at breakfast; she maybe thought it was from you." Severus shook his head. "So she opened it and it sort of pricked her on her finger and she dropped...just like that."

He stared blankly at the crowd trying to get a glimpse of her. There was a flash of red where the crowd was parted for a slight moment. Professor Slughorn immerged from the crowd and walked over to where he and Severus were standing by the doorway.

"Potter how long was it before she was brought to the hospital."

James searched his memory. "Well about five minuets."

Severus held his head at the news and grunted, Slughorn looked like he was going to die and he just felt embarrassed.

"You could have used a bezoar, did you think of it?" Slughorn asked calmly. But no he didn't think of it, he would have never thought it. James shook his head in complete shame. "It was in the great hall. I wasn't near... where would I get it."

Severus let out a heavy sigh. "Have you ever heard of s summoning spell. Accio for instance?"

James held his head down. He understood perfectly why they would blame him. For all the talent he pretended to have the one moment when he could have made it count for something, he failed miserably. Maybe she was right to be with Severus, he was certain that he would of thought of the bezoar and be much calmer under the situation than he was. He would have been able to protect her much better. James felt a warm tear run down his cheek. At the moment he was pleased that Slughorn had turned his attention to Severus and was interrogating him about his presence.

" I forgot a book in here sir," he said simply.

Slughorn seemed to have bought it but he turned his attention back to James. He seemed to have noticed that he was deeply upset. He sighed and patted James on the back. "Don't worry boy, it can't be helpt now. They're working very hard to revive her."

"She's unconscious?" Severus asked. Slughorn seemed a bit surprise to see him so concerned but he didn't seem to care at the moment. He nodded slowly and turned around and walked back in the room, leaving the two guys in each other's company.

A DAY AFTER

Snape waited until the Potions room cleared. Slughorn told him that he wanted to see him after class. Slughorn had been miserable all day. The whole class seem to be down about the news and the rift between Slytherin and the other houses was getting worse. Everyone seemed to be certain that it was someone from Slytherin who did it.

When the room was clear he went to Slughorn's desk. SLughorn let out a heavy sigh. "Bad business Severus," he started. He took out some crystallized pinapple. He offered him some and he poiltly refused. Slughorn could sense he was growing impatient and decided to get to the matter. "You like Evans don't you."

"What sir?" His heart lept. Slughorn had never given him any indication that he knew about him and Lily.

"I mean you think she's a good student, good at potions?"

Severus shook his head, relived. "Yes sir, she brilliant."

"Well I hope you will consider what I'm about to ask you."

He as silent he couldn't imagine what it was that Slughorn was going to ask him.

" I want you to look after her."

"Look after her sir."

Slughorn got off of his seat and stood up. "Well it's sort of dangerous for students like her these days so I think it can't hurt..."

Severus nodded slowly.

"That's not all, I want you to ask around, see if anyone knows anything. I'm sure you heard the rumours."

"So you want me to find out if anyone in Slytherin could have been involved." Slughorn nodded. Severus was trying his best to not to show how honoured he felt. For once someone thought he was worth something. "I can do that," he said.Slughorn nodded in apprication and went back to his seat and pineapples.

Severus turned around and picked up his books and made his way out of the dungeons and walked up the spiraling staircase.

'Was it so bad' he thought. He noticed that when he believed that Slughorn knew his secret for a brief moment, he wasn't upset about it, he was pleased. Why was it that he felt the need to hide the fact that they had a relationship? So what if people in Slytherin didn't approve, that was their problem. He wasn't planning on spending the rest of his life in that house, with those people, so why was he jeopardizing his happiness for them.

It suddenly dawned on him that he had been quite silly about the whole thing. In fact he was certain if they knew that she was his, they wouldn't dear attempt anything like that. They would have known that he would turn the culprit into a beetle and toss them in a fireplace.

Then he decided when Lily woke up, if she would approve he would let people know. He was tired of hiding how he was feeling all the time. There couldn't be any harm in it.

He had planned to go and visit Lily. He decided that if anyone asked him what he was doing there, he would be honest, he wouldn't confess his love but he no longer felt the need to hide that he was going to see her, besides Slughorn gave him a perfect reason to.

NOTE: I decided not to tease you guys with another cliff hanger. Okay I promise there are only four more chapters. ( I think).

Expect an update on 16/04/07


	15. Chapter 15

NOTE: I'm very boared with the lack of Lily. So please don't mind if a blast though all of this.

CHAPTER: The Secret Keeper.

The Great Hall was packed with students. It was after the last class of the day so most of them were having dinner, Severus decided he would skip dinner and head straight to the hospital wing. He was leaving the hall when he heard someone call him out.

"Pssst, Snape," the voice said.

He turned around to see a pale Regulas Black leaning against a wall. "What is it, I'm busy," Severus asked. He never liked Regulas much he was just a purist version of his older brother Sirius.

Regulas nervously passed his hand through his hair. "Do you have a minuet?"

Severus rolled his eyes. "Yes, but I can only spare just one, I'm going to the hospital."

Regulas eyes him suspiciously. "Why are you going there?"

Severus thought about making up some quick lie then he remembered what he had promised himself earlier. He cleared his throat. "I'm off it see how Lily Evans is doing,"

Not to his surprise Regulas looked surprised by the revelation. "Why?" he asked cautiously, "I thought you hated her?"

Severus shook his head. "Change of heart, she is a perfectly nice person, why should I hate her." Regulas blinked in shock. "I'm sorry but I said I only had a minuet."

Regulas looked up at the sealing and began to swing his hands backwards and forwards. Severus made no effort to hide the fact that he was annoyed. Then Regulas looked at him and said. "Never mind mate, its okay." He turned around and wand walked over to Narcissa who was looking expectantly at him. He shook his head and Narcissa looked nervously into her bowl of porridge.

He couldn't help but think that everything was not okay and something was definitely going on with those two. But he put it out of his head. He had more important things to think about.

o-o-o-o-o

"Do you think she can hear us?" Peter asked leaning over a sleeping figure on a bed.

"I'm sure she can." Remus said looking at Peter.

James had actually taken a seat on the bed was looking over at her face. It looked like she was in pain. She took his hand and moved a loose strand of hair out of her face.

"Hey Prongs watch it there, you don't want to cross Evans in her coma," Sirius told James. This cause all four of them to laugh. James reached out in his bag and took out a transparent sphere and placed in on the night counter.

"What's that," Peter asked James.

"It's a sneak-o-scope; it's supposed to tell you when someone untrustworthy is around. I know for a fact that it's someone from this school who tried to do it."

"So Lily even though in a comma will know when there is someone trying to kill her," Sirius added sarcastically.

"Funny Sirius but I have an identical one that mimics this one. I'll know if anyone is trying something."

The spare suddenly started to make a slight hissing sound. The four heads turned around and looked at Severus, who was seated quietly in an arm chair close to the window.

"What's he doing here anyway?"

James turned his attention back to Lily. "Slughorn horn told him to look after her. You know she's his favorite student."

Sirius snorted. "And he could only think of Snevillus."

"Well there aren't a lot of people in Slytherin who he can trust. I guess he's harmless."

Sirius looked from the hissing ball to the Severus, who still hadn't lifted his head from the book he was reading. "Yeah well your sneak-o-scope says otherwise."

James picked it up and shook it. "It must be malfunctioning."

They had come up to see Lily after the day's lessons. They hadn't been there long but James could tell that Severus was becoming impatient and wanted them to leave. He knew that he had no right to stay there as long as he liked. Lily was not his girlfriend.

"Merlin's Beard is that the time?" Lupin shouted. This forced the four of them to look out the window at the sunset. "I have to get going." The sun had been almost completely hidden behind the horizon. "Where's Miss Pomfrey?"

James stood up. "Let's go find her. I'll come with you, in case we're too late, don't want any accidents."

o-o-o-o

Severus had been listening to them for what seemed like the better part to the day. For some reason they seemed to ignore him and he was happy enough for that so decided to go unnoticed. However he was growing tired of having them around. He especially hated the way James was acting, like he was her boyfriend, it annoyed him. He wasn't sure he liked the idea of his friends knowing that he fancied Lily, he was certain that it was only a matter of time before one of them tried to convince her to go with James. He couldn't allow that. But all that would be put to rest once they got word. He smiled at the thought.

"Remus is cutting it really close tonight," Sirius said staring at the window.

Severus shot his book close and began to look out the window, he didn't want them to know that he was listening in on their conversation. He was curious though, what where they talking about.

He let his eyes drop on the whomping willow that was swaying dangerously under the evening sky. That was when he spotted it. Lupin, out on the grounds. But he wasn't alone, Madame Pomfrey was with him. He could make no sense of it. Why would Madame Pomfrey be assisting a student in breaking the rules? She must have been confounded, and knowing Potter and his gang he wouldn't put that out of the realm of possibilities.

The pair of them walked further and further, they were dangerously close to the willow now. But something miraculous happened. The tree stopped moving just like that. "What the…," he said aloud. They were now going to the trunk of the tree and then into the tree itself. "Merlin's Bread."

By this time he had aroused the attention of Sirius and Peter who had joined him by the window.

"What you looking at Snivillus?" Peter said.

He looked over to them. "What's he doing, why did he take her into that tree. How did he do it."

Sirius smiled and rolled his eyes. "Why don't you go find out, all you have to do is prod the knot on the bark with a stick."

"You liar," he said. He couldn't help but wonder why he would tell him this. He looked out the window and the sun had set completely and the brilliant full moon was visible in the sky. "Where are they going?"

"Like I said," Sirius said casually. "I'm not going to tell you because I was sworn to secrecy, but if you want to know…"

o-o-o-o-o-o

James walked back up the stairs and into the hospital wing. He had to wonder about is friends, sometimes Lupin could really be careless. He enjoyed the midnight escapades as much as anyone but… Sirius and Peter enjoyed it too much. They were becoming reckless.

He walked in the room to the sounds of Peter and Sirius laughing and looking out the window. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"That slimeball Snape, that's what," Peter replied.

"How," he asked.

"He saw Moony and Madame Pomfrey going into the willow and started asking a bunch of questions, so we just accidently told him how to go in after them." He said this laughing.

"WHAT?" James said in shock.

"I know Prongs, that was a good one, right"

"ARE YOU CRAZY," he shouted. "HE COULD KILL HIM?"

"Yeah, that was the idea," Sirius said still laughing.

-o-o-o-o-

James ran as fast as he could. He couldn't believe that they would do that. He had tp get to Snape before Snape got to Remus.

-o-o-o-o-

Snape sat on a bed in the hospital wing looking at a large gash on his arm. Madame Pomfrey was looking over James, who was in a worst condition than him. He wasn't even feeling the pain. All he could think about is what he saw. He couldn't believe he had missed it. For seven years he had went to school with a werewolf and he was completely clueless about it. But why, he wondered, would Professor Dumbledore let such a horrible thing into the school.

He looked over to Lily, who was still sleeping, completely unaware that someone had just tried to murder him. He knew when she told her about his it would ruin her opinion of James forever. He and his stupid friends had a very sick and demented sense of humor.

"It's alright Potter, you can leave, you're very lucky you didn't get bitten," Madame Pomfrey said. James just sighed and walked out the room.

She had now turned her attention to Severus. "This whole thing is a fiasco," she complained. "Two students could have been killed or worse, turned."

Severus sat quietly while she complained. He was just waiting until Dumbledore came so he could tell him about what Potter and they tried to do. If he had any luck the four off them would be out of the school by morning.

o-o-oo-o-o

"So you understand why you must never tell a soul what happened here tonight?"

Severus couldn't believe his ears. No punishment, no one expelled and werewolf being left to slaughter who so ever he pleased. "They could have killed me?" he protested.

Dumbledore sighed. " And they will be punished. But you must understand that to expel them would put Remus in an uncomfortable situation."

"Remus...uncomfortable... he was a part if. You know how they are."

"Anything that Remus is or will be is a result of what people make him. If we show him kindness then he would be kind in return."

He seriously doubted that Remus would ever be kind to him. It was so unfair. How could they do anything they want and just get away with it? "But what about tonight?"

"I don't believe he knew about what his friends planned. Even now he is unaware."

Again he seriously doubted this. But the old man seemed insistent on keeping him in the school. No doubt he was certain that it was because James, Remus, Sirius and Peter were his favourites.

"Severus, all my students are favourites."

_What, did he just read my mind?_ Severus thought.

"I know all my students and their true character, even you. Do you remember the day when I gave you your letter?"

"Yes sir," he said quietly.

"Do you remember what your mother told me? Did that ever ruined my opinion of you."

His mom was in a very bad state that day. She was frantic. When Professor Dumbledore showed up she basically screamed out what she did to her husband. Telling him all about the night it happened. She was a sobbing mess. "Don't take my son away," she was screaming at Dumbledore. Severus was very thankful that Dumbledore was able to calm her down and convince her to let him go to Hogwarts. But most of all he was thankful that Dumbledore never told the ministry that his mother, with his help, practically murdered his father.

"So I keep a lot of Secrets. I was hoping this was one you could keep in return. We must all make allowances, to protect the innocent." Dumbledore looked at him from under his half- moon spectacles.

As much as he hated to admit it, he was right. Dumbledore did give him a second chance and he supposed that he could give a group of idiots a second chance. But one thing was for sure. He would never forgive or forget what they tried to do to him.

-o-o-o-o-

James sat in his bed thinking about what happened. He couldn't believe that Sirius would be so stupid, Peter, but not Sirius. He had to admit that sometimes he was concerned about his best friend. Sirius was like a tolerant version of his brother Regulas. Sirius had a sort of sick idea of what was funny. It must be the Black in him he thought. You can take the boy out of the house but you can't take the house out of the boy.

He was just thankful that he was able to get to Severus in time. Lily would kill him if anything happened to him. He imagined her waking up and him having to tell her: Well we sort of got your boyfriend bitten by a werewolf.

But poor Remus. He was certain that Snape would go brag his mouth and by morning the owls would start arriving and there would be a petition to get him kicked out of the school. This was the most selfish thing Sirius and Peter could have done. And all for a laugh.

NOTE: Okay, so I would love it if you guys review this chapter then read the other one. come on... I gave you guys two whole chapters..


	16. Chapter 16

NOTE: She's awake.Finally.

CHAPTER: THE BROKEN VOW.

Lily woke up on cold Saturday morning to sound of quiet whispering. The sky outside was a dull grey and a clod draft was blowing through the window. From the looks of it she was in the hospital wing.She couldn't remeber coming up there. She tried to get up but felt her head spinning. "Oh," she moaned.

"Miss Evans, you're awake."

o-o-o-o-o

"Can I see her now?" Severus asked Miss Pomfrey.

"Exactly what do you think has changed since one minuet ago," she asked frustrated.

He sighed and leaned against the door. He hadn't spoken to her for 12 days, it was driving him nuts. He couldn't stand being away from her. He felt an unpleasant coldness rushing over him, trying to consume him. He needed her.

It seemed to take forever before he was able to see her. He passed his hand through his hair and walked in the room. He wondered what he would say to her. What do you say to someone who has been in a coma for almost two weeks?

She sat up and made an attempt to smile at the sight of him. He could tell that she was still sort of weak form the poison that hadn't completely left her body. "Hey," she said. "Are you talking to me then?"

He took her hand and kissed it gently. He couldn't speak at the moment. He was just needed to have her near him.

She quickly glanced over to Miss Pomfrey who was attending to a first year, who swallowed swelling solution. She was a bit surprise that he was being this way in the presence of others, even though they weren't looking. "Are you alright?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I'm fine now, I just missed you much. But I should be asking you, are you fine."

"A little groggy but I'm fine. I'm just glad you're speaking to me."

He turned around and looked at Miss Pomfrey, who was still busy. He bent down and gave her a quick kiss on her lips. "I'm in love with you Lily Evans," he whispered in her ear.

Lily felt her heart launch. He had never said it before. She could tell just by the way he would look at her, the way he reacted to her touch and how much he tried to please her but it was different when he said it. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and reached her lips to touch his. He was quivering slightly, she didn't know if it was from the cold or if it was from her but he allowed her to warm him up. She was half expecting him to stop her because they were out in the open but he didn't, he let her kiss him.

She giggled at him. "What if someone walks in?" She asked.

He shrugged and ran his fingers through her red locks that looked as radiant as ever. "I don't care," he whispered. " Actually, I was thinking if we have to do that?"

"Do what?" she asked.

"Keep on lying about it."

She wasn't quite sure what he was asking her. "About the relationship?"

He nodded. He could tell from the look on her face she was confused about it. " Well I was always thought that I had to lie about it but I don't want to anymore."

"You want to tell people we're dating?"

"Yes," he replied. "How do you feel about it?"

She looked away from him for the first time since she saw him. She had no idea how she felt about it. How would it be with everyone knowing that she was with him. What would people say? But it didn't matter what people say. It was more of like what they would do. People in Slytherin would torture him for dating a 'mudblood'.

He could tell that she did not like the idea. "It's okay if you don't want to." He cursed himself for thinking that she would approve of it. Of course she wouldn't want people to know that she was dating him. She would be embarrassed.

"It's not that I don't want to it's just that...with all the pureblood talk going around...and given that your in Slytherin... I mean someone has already tried to kill me."

He sighed and shifted form one foot to the other. "I can take care you; I can make sure this never happens..."

'Oh Severus I know, It just that..."

"You know Slughorn asked me to find out who might be responsible, to look after you, he thinks I can..."

"I'm sorry you're taking this the wrong way, I only meant..."

"He asked me to check out people in my own house. And I did that, for you..."

He held up her hands to interject. "Okay tell everyone, just don't get angry with me again."

He rolled his eyes. "Well I'm obviously not going to do it if you don't want me to." He let out a heavy sigh and let go of her hands. " It just a bit interesting that you didn't seem to have a problem with people thinking that you were going out with James."

She couldn't handle going through this again. She couldn't bear the thought of thinking that she had broken his heart. As much as he would pretend that he was tuff, he had a very fragile soul and the slightest thing could break it.

She took his wrist and held it as firmly as she could. "Severus looked at me."

He reluctantly looked at her. He knew if he did that she could convince him that the world was flat, those eyes were so beautiful but he gazed into them trying to read her with out using Legilimency.

"All I wanted to say is that if you tell people you're with me, you'd be in danger. They already hate me, but they like you, there's no need to make yourself a target. I never for one second thought that you wouldn't be able to take care of me. I know what you will do for me. But remember, you sleep in the same room with these people."

She had a point. It would be very easy for Knott or one of the other guys to curse him in his sleep.

"You just have to ask yourself, if it's worth it."

That was easy. "Well yeah."

She tapped him on his wrist. "Well if you're going to protect me, you must allow me to protect you." She could tell that he thought this idea was comical. "Don't make yourself a target."

It was very ironic because he remembered telling her the same thing a few months ago.

"SHE LIVES!"

Someone shouted from the door.

James.

Severus wanted to let out swear words at him but he wouldn't dare do that in front of Lily. Why couldn't he just leave them alone.

"Hey James," she said . She was surprised that he wasn't there earlier. She knew that Severus would want him to leave as quickly as possible. "I heard what you did, thanks."

She was the first person to tell him thanks, everyone else seemed to think he was an idiot and he couldn't blame them. He nodded in appreciation. "I'm sure you would have done the same thing for me?"

"Don't be so sure," she joked.

"Ah, I see Severus is robbing off on you, in more than one way."

This managed to earn him a chocolate frog from the desk aimed right at his head. "Only joking, god knows I hate the idea."

Severus let out a heavy sigh that meant that he was tired of his presence and wanted him to leave. But James wasn't ready to leave just yet; he hadn't seen Lily in ages. The last time he saw her she looked like she was dead for sure, now she was alive with all the radiance and glow she had before the horrible incident took place.

"Oi, Evans," came another voice form the door. James turned around to see Sirius, Remus and Peter at the door. They had to come, they couldn't see him run off and not think he was holding out on them.

Severus cursed under his breath. The whole lot of them were here now. He looked at Lily, who gave him a sympathetic look. He mouted 'Later' at her and began to walk out the room.

"Why's he always here?" asked Sirius watching him leave.

"Slughorn remember?" James said glancing at Sirius. Sirius looked lost in a train of thought then shook himself out of it at the sound of a squeal of pain from the first year student.

o-o-o-o-o

Severus walked in the common room feeling Happy and frustrated at the same time. He was pleased that Lily was awake and upset because James and his crew had ruined his visit on purpose.

The room was deserted except for Narcissa and Regulas, sitting. Narcissa was looking extremely nervous and sickly. He knew he should have just walked away but he guessed Lily was robbing off on him, he was concerned. "Is everything alright here?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're fine,"

But Narcissa shook her head. " They know?"

Not that he cared. " Know what?"

"I think they know..."

"No don't tell him," Regulas complained.

Okay they were keeping a secret. Now he was interested. "You can trust me, I promise I won't tell."

Regulas shook his head, warning Narcissa not to trust him.

"Take the vow... the unbreakable vow."

'Did he really wanted to know the secret that bad, If it was something worth taking the vow over then maybe. "Okay, I'll take the vow

-o-

"You?" he said in shock. "You poisoned Lily?"

She shook her head. "I told Bella to send her something to scare her. I didn't know she would try to kill the mudblood. Now Professor Dumbledore suspects me. He's been trying to read my mind..."

"He should. You need to come clean," Severus demanded. "Or else I will."

"You can't," Regulas interjected. "You took the vow."

Severus cursed under his breath. He couldn't believe that he took a vow that betrayed his Lily and worst of all he couldn't even tell her about it. Now he would never be able to tell Slughorn that he figured out who did it. He'd never be able to get any kisses of appreciation form Lily. "You tricked me," he said.

"Tough luck," Regulas whispered. "What are you going to do about it? Get Dumbeldore off her back."

"How am I supposed to do that? You'll have to sort that out on you own."

"The vow Severus," Regulas reminded him.

"I took the vow not let anyone find out the secret because of me, I never said I would help you try to deceive practically the greatest wizard alive."

He got up and stormed off into his dorm. He couldn't help but think that whenever a Black was involved he would always fine himself backed up in tight corners.

NOTE: It's near. I', almost done.

So I'd like some reviews for this chapter as well.

I'm updating on 18/4/07. Wdenesday as usual. I might do two chapters then as well.


	17. Chapter 17

NOTE: Good News: Three Chapters and the story is complete

Bad News: You are going to be angry with me. Remember I said it's a fill in the balnks story. So it had to happen

And Yes Severus did walk into that one. I had to make him findout some way. That's my reason for why he doesn't like Bellatrix.

And JK said that Remus let James and Sirius get away with being bulies because he was afraid to loose them as friends. So I think Remus would have forgiven them for it becasue it's very difficult for a werewolf to make friends and keep them.

CHAPTER: Goodbye Girl.

The group of sixteen students had gathered in the Great Hall for a meeting. Severus was actually required to be at this meeting which was not a problem as it was a prefect's meeting. The meeting was conducted by Lily and unfortunately James. It was very routine. Dumbledore had asked the head boy and the head girl to assign people to guard floors on the castle, to look out for wrong doing. They were going to be assigned partners.

Okay, Longbottom you have to take the dungeons with Knott." James said looking down at his paper.

They both interjected. "Can I have Alice?" Longbottom had.

"Thought you already had her." Knott commented. This managed to get the whole group of students laughing, even Lily.

"Okay whatever," James said crossing off something on his list. "Remus you should take the third floor with Snape." James said this not looking at either of them.

Snape did not want to be partnered with a werewolf. Why couldn't he just be partnered with Lily. But he should have guessed that James would never be that kind to him.

"Can't do it," Severus said very firmly.

"Who do you suggest then?" James looked at him very teasingly; he knew that Severus would never request Lily in front of all those people. Severus was completely silent. "Very well, since you have no suggestion, you can't have complaints either."

Severus would have loved to hex that stupid smirk off his face, he was being wicked on purpose and Lily was allowing it. If she had said something, he was certain that no one would think anything of it.

He continued to pair up reluctant partners until all corridors were manned. "And Lily and I will take the astronomy tower…" he said like it was no big deal.

Severus really didn't want to hear anymore. He knew he was just provoking him. He hated James, he wish he could just die.

He walked away from the group of students to assume his post on the third floor.

"Snape, hold your horses." Remus said calling after him. "Were supposed to be partnered for a reason, two is better than one."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Surly a canine like yourself can handle a little student. If you're in trouble just devour them to death." He had done his job, he insulted him. "You take the north and I will take the south."

With that he stormed off with his robes floating behind him.

o-o-o-o-o

Severus decided to go and take a peak in Morning Myrtle's bathroom as this was a place frequented by wrong doers. He was just in luck to find that she was actually in the bathroom and was not sobbing for one reason or the other.

"Do you know this is a girl's bathroom?" she asked in a squeaky voice. "Or have you come to see me?"

"Why would I come to see you? I'm just looking for anyone whose breaking rules."

Myrtle floated down towards Snape in dreamlike motion. "She's an awful girl, isn't she?"

"Who?" he asked not really interested in the answer.

"The red haired girl that you were with when you were snogging in here the other night."

He didn't even know she was there; she had a horrible way of spying on students. "Why were spying me?"

She laughed and floated closer to him. " I wasn't spying on you, I was spying on her. I dare say she is very popular with boys."

"What do you mean by that?" Mrytle had a far away look on her face that turned to a frown.

"She's with James."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Not that rumor again?" he said.

"Saw them myself… running off all hours of the night."

He was certain that she was mistaken. "Are you sure it was Lily you saw."

She frowned. "That nasty little thing took James from me. I always said thought that if he should die, we'd make a nice pair…we both have glasses you know…"

"Wait," he interjected…"What do you mean by she is running off with him all hours of he night."

She was now sobbing and ignoring Severus. "And he always tells her how pretty she is… and she likes the compliments.

Myrtle never answered his questions. She had long forgotten him and was floating away wailing and sobbing.

Was there some truth to what she was saying, could Lily actually be entertaining James' crush. He felt sick again. He walked out the bathroom in a dreamlike state, forgetting about the task he was assigned.

o-o-o-o-o

Lily walked into the potions dungeons late that Staurday afternoon. Severus had asked her to meet him here. He really hadn't spoken much to her since the prefects meeting and when he did he was short and distant, she would tell something was wrong.

He was sitting down grazing his quill against the desk, staring into Space. He didn't even noticed when she entered. She put her hands around his eyes to blind fold him. "Guess who?" she said. But he said nothing he gently removed her hands and turned around to face her. She gave him a soft kiss that he made no effort to return. She was confused; she couldn't understand why she was being so distant.

"Something's the matter?" she asked and he nodded slightly. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath. "I think we shouldn't see each other anymore."

This was the last thing she was expecting to hear from him. He must have been upset about something else because she gave him no reason to be angry with her. "Why?" she whispered, trying to take his hand, that he was trying to move away.

"I think it's best for both of us."

She gazed at him. Was he serious? "Why would you want to break up with me I thought you said that you…"

"I know what I said" he grunted through his teeth. He sighed heavily and got up from his seat. He wanted to have a considerable distance between them. It was hard enough for him. "And I still feel that way."

Tears were already coming in her eyes. "So why then?" she asked.

"Because I can't keep you," he replied.

"What?" she was confused.

"Remember the first time we met here alone. Remember James asked if I was holding you hostage." She looked confused. He eyes were beginning to get puffy with the tears that were now flowing down her face. "Am I holding you hostage Lily?"

She shook her head. "No, why would you say that?"

Severus could feel the lump in his throat becoming a heavy burned to bear. He hated that he had to do this. "Because I believe I am." She shook her head, she was trying to say something but she was unable to find the words. Just seeing her crying was breaking his heart. "Lily its okay if you don't want to be with me anymore, you don't have to feel obligated to."

She looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're just scared. You're so used to being unhappy that you want to turn away someone who can offer you something new."

"I'm not scared Lily, you are. You're scared that you will hurt me, if you leave me."

"But I don't want to?" she complained.

" Yes you do."

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

Severus sighed. She was making this very hard. "Why didn't you tell me about you and James meeting up in the middle of the night?"

She threw her hands up in the air. "Is that what this is about? I was tutoring him in potions, that's all."

"If that was all them why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this."

He shook his head. "No I wouldn't have. I would have even tutored him for you if you liked. The fact that you felt you had to keep it from me says volumes about what it meant to you."

"Severus you're being ridiculous," she was angry now.

"Am I?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact you are."

"Well when I thought that you were going out with him why didn't you just tell people that you were in fact seeing me."

"I told you this before."

"And it was a weak excuse; don't know why I fell for it. You know I can take any of them awake or asleep."

She was silent. She was fuming.

"And when I told you how I felt, you said nothing. I didn't even notice that until last night."

She just stared at him.

"Why didn't tell James that you would work the corridors with me?"

She was still looking at him.

"How is it that you were able to find a room for you and James to have your study sessions when you told me that you couldn't find a room to that we can use to meet?"

"That room we studied it was filthy, who would want to meet their boyfriend there?"

"And scorgify is not a spell?" he asked. "I know you Lily, if you really wanted it you would have made it happen. You basically rewrote a potions book for heavens sake."

She continued to stare at him. She looked like she was trying to fight back the tears but she couldn't. He moved closer to her. "I don't want to keep you back from something you want, even if it is Potter."

"Have I been unfair to you Sverus, why are you being so unfair to me?"

"You've been unfair to yourself and I will have no part in that." He made an attempt to smile. "I just have one favor to ask you." She didn't seem interested in doing any favours. "If you see me, don't look, if you're told to sit next to me, don't and please Lily, it's very important that you never ever speak to me again."

He shoved his quill in his pocket and began to walk to the door.

" I hate you," she shouted at him

He knew she didn't mean but it still stung him. He tunrned back around. " And I still love you."

"Funny way of showing it?" she said trying to wipe her tears. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing this to you, I'm doing this for you. Someday you'll want to thank me for that."

He turned on his heal and walked out the door shutting it behind him

He took off in a brisk walk down the corridore. He needed to get back to he Slytherine Common room. He walked through the portait whole and ran up the stairs to his dorm. It was empty just as he had hoped. He needed to clear his head, he promised himself that he wans't going to cry about it, he cried enough for the night before.

Decided to distract himself with a schhol book. HE grabed one from the counter nearby. It just Happened to be the potions book. He cursed in his head. He opened the book and galnced at the pages where she had written corrections to the potions. He knew he couldn't continue to use that book with her hand writing all over it. He took out his wand from his back pocket and in a wave turned all the wrting to his.

He regretted it the moment he did it. He missed the writing. He liked seeing her writing next to his. Now it was all his, another reminder that he was all alone now, with no Lily to comfort him or to help him through the day. He fel back on the bed and cluctched the book to his chest, holding it close to his heart. He allowed himslef to cry... because he already missed her.

NOTE: Sorry. I had to happen. I tired to make it no one fault.

I know it seemes sudden but I couldn't have it take to long casue then it would have made Lily look bad. I didn't want Lily to know that she starting to have strong feelings for James. I wanted Severus to be the one to point it out.

So review even if you didn't like what I did with it

Next chapter is up...right now...no wait.


	18. Chapter 18

NOTE: I'm doing some major skipping.

CHAPTER: The Greatest Regret

THREE YEARS LATER

Severus sat quietly in his former Head Master's office. It had been almost four years since he was last there. Things had been so different then. It was about an hour after he wrote his last exam. Dumbledore had invited a group of students into his office for a special meeting. All the students were in the graduating class but he was the only Slytherin in the group of ten Gryffindors, six Ravenclaws and four Huffelpuffs. He asked them if they had given any consideration to their future and asked that they meet him again on the day of their graduation.

When he thought back he realized how silly he had been. The afternoon sunset was falling on the castle and people were beginning to disperse and he was trying desperately for it to go unnoticed that he had no parent present. He was just about to board one of the carriages that would take them to Hogsmeade when he noticed the group of students gathering. Everyone was there. He remembered when she looked at him, expectantly. But he had been such a coward, afraid to face her, afraid to be forced to say what he had not been saying the whole year. He turned around boarded the carriage leaving her looking at him confused. It was by a completely unfortunate coincidence that he happened to board the same carriage with Bellatrix Black, Rodolphus Lastrange and his brother Rabastan who was graduating with them.

He wondered what would have happened if he had joined the others that day, if he didn't step into that carriage and if he hadn't been such a coward.

During the ride Bellatrix was talking about some meeting Lucius had arranged for them with the Dark Lord. It was by habit that in the presence of Slytherins he pretended to be sympathetic with their cause and on that day he went along with it. They talked about picking people off like cherries and how the dark lord had power to do that. All the while, he was terribly afraid that they would put her name in their mouths. That someone would suggest that they "pick" off Lily. He had no idea why he allowed them to convince him to come along with them.

After the years he had convinced himself that he had gone with them to protect her, to make sure no one wanted to hurt her but the truth was he was just a weak fool who compromised himself and his better judgment.

That was the day he had the dark mark brunt onto his hand. He was never asked if he wanted this, it was assumed because he was there. He was not given the chance to object because he was there and it was a given that he was one of them and soon enough he did become one of them.

He was certain that if he had only gone to meet with Dumbledore things would have been quite different. He wouldn't have her but he would have her respect, something he lost that horrid day.

Now here he was in Dumbledore's office again, trying to right a wrong that should have never taken place. He was stupid, and like all stupid men he thought himself rather clever at the time.

There was noise coming from beyond the door and a moment later he heard footsteps behind the door.

"I can't pretend that I am not surprised to see you here, Severus."

He had planed to be as calm as possible but all that was thrown out the window when he heard the voice of the one person who could help him. He sprang off his feet and rushed to Dumbledore. "Headmaster sir, I have made a grave mistake."

"I know or else you wouldn't have been here."

He crumbled at the thought of it. Soon he found himself on his knees; pulling at the old man's robes. He wasn't sure when the tears stated but he felt it running down his face. "You must put it right. I can't bear to think that I would be responsible…" he knew much of what he was saying was incoherent.

"Severus, please remain calm." Dumbledore held his former students hand raising him to his feet. He had never seen him like this before; he was the sort of person who hid their emotions. "Groveling is not required here."

He could only barely stand. He managed to prop himself in the chair he was seated in previously. Dumbledore walked around the table and sat in the chair opposite him.

"Please explain Severus."

"The prophecy… I told him…had no way of knowing…he'd… her?

By some miracle Dumbledore managed to make sense of this. He handed Severus a tissue from a box that had just appeared on the table. "You told him the prophecy, and he interpreted as…" When he head it he knew that the person the prophecy referred to had to be Neville Longbottom or Harry Potter.

"Lily…her son," As the words left his mouth it was confirmed what a disaster the situation was. He had been such an idiot that he thought that he could trick the dark lord by telling him only part of the prophecy. All he knew was that it would lead to his ruin and that was the only part he cared about. Not once ever did it enter his mind that it was talking about Lily's son.

Dumbledore nodded silently at the information. He looked at Severus from beyond the table, he was a mess and it made him wonder why.

"Why would you so willingly offer up this information?"

"Surly, you must know that he means to kill them all."

"Yes but you never shown any remorse for your actions until now, forgive me if I don't trust you Severus."

He wiped the fresh bit of tears that had just appeared running down his face. "I don't think I can live with the knowledge that I was the one who lead him to her."

"Are you referring to Mrs. Potter?"

He nodded slightly as the tears continued to flow down his face. "I never knew her as that, she was only Lily to me, and she was mine."

"Explain," Dumbledore said. He got up form the chair and made his way over to his cabinet and took out a stone basin. It was glowing brilliantly. He pointed the tip of his want to his temples and extracted silver gossamer and placed it in the basin.

Severus told him everything.

Dumbledore sat with his hands folded and his half-moon spectacles sliding down his nose. "So you gave him the information in hope that he would die and you would be free."

"You must understand; I didn't know she had a son. It was only when he got the information I knew."

"And how did he get this information?"

"He said he has a reliable source close to the potters that told him about their son, Harry."

Dumbledore nodded again. "But why did he choose the Potters. How will I know that you are not leading me away form his real choice."

Severus looked down at his hands. His tears were dry now but he felt like fresh round was coming on. "He asked me about them, if they had any special abilities that could be passed on to their baby. I was so surprised by the news of their child and I panicked. He can read the slightest of filches and he knew. He penetrated my thoughts; he saw what I thought of her, my affection for her and decided that she was the one." The tears were flowing again. "I tried to convince him that the Longbottoms posed a much greater threat but… My emotions gave him his answer."

Dumbledore nodded and stood up. "Very well," he said. He took another gossamer-like string out of his brain and poured it in the basin and then stored it away. "Severus, I am very sorry but I can only spear you the slightest of moments to put yourself together. They must be informed."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He sat in the corner quietly while he listened to the footsteps ascending the stairs. He feared this day so much, when he would face to face her, reduced as he was. The louder the footsteps became the louder his heart beat. The noise of a jack hammer rang through his ear. He wanted to disappear in a puff of smoke.

The door creaked open and he closed his eyes at the instant. He didn't want to see her face, to see the look she would give him, after all these year.

"Professor Dumbledore, it sounded so urgent," James said. He looked directly at Dumbledore who was sitting behind his desk.

"Yes please sit." He pointed at two chairs that he had conjured up earlier. They took a seat and looked at him expectantly. "Severus, here just gave me some valuable information."

Severus heart took a plunge at the mention of his name, he was hoping he could sit quietly unnoticed but he was forced to face her. She looked just as beautiful as he remembered; the perfect dark red hair that he ran his fingers through, the delicate lips that he once kissed and those green eyes that would peer into his soul.

She looked startled to see him there.

"What's he doing here?" James asked confused. "Dumbledore please don't tell me you asked me to bring my son in the presence of a death eater."

He didn't see it before, the bassinet in her hands, the one he was sure was carrying Harry. He let the gaze drop from her eyes to the the baby that lay peacefully asleep. It was the splitting image of James.

"James I will explain everything. Please just listen."

Dumbledore spoke quietly and quickly, taking quick glances at Severus ever so often. And every time he did that Lily would follow and he would die of embarrassment for what he had done.

"We don't have time to spear. The Fedilius Charm must be performed tonight. Do you have someone is mind for a secret keeper."

James nodded. He was in quite a state of shock. He had basically been told that Voldermort was going to try to kill him and his family. "There is only one man I trust with the life of my child and wife and that's Sirius."

"No you mustn't." It was the first thing he said in their presence. They looked at him startled, James clearly didn't want him to be there and Lily looked like she was confused about the whole thing. "There is someone close to you feeding him information, Sirius is too great a risk."

James ignored him turning to Dumbledore. "Like I said, I trust Sirius with my life. I have known for some time now that there is a rat in our mist and I am quite certain it's not Sirius, I fact we think we might know who it is."

"The dark Lord has very powerful methods of persuasion, what ever you think you know about your friends you need to throw it out the window, Sirius can not be trusted."

Dumbledore took his eyes off Snape and turned to James. "For arguments sake James, who do you think it the spy?"

James hesitated then he looked at Lily, who nodded in approval. "We have reason to believe its Remus Lupin sir."

Dumbledore nodded silently.

"I will do it," Severus said finally coming out of his dark corner.

"What?" James spited.

"He will never suspect me as the Secret Keeper, anyone of your friends will be an easy target."

James looked at Severus with hatred etched on his face. "No thanks Severus, I think you've done more than enough."

"James pleases." It was the first time she spoke for the night; she had been silent, thinking, as if trying to decide what she should do.

"So is it settled, Sirius will be secret keeper?"

James nodded while Lily sat stood. "Professor I hope you don't mind me putting you out of you own office but I need to speak to Severus alone." James looked at her with a shocked expression on her face and she gave him defying glare.

His heart began to race again. The moment he had been so afraid of all those years had come, it was the bitterest of reunions.

NOTE: Okay, I tried to give a reason for Snape joining the Death Eaters that would make him not that bad. This chapter was very long so the next one won't be that long.

One more chapter to go.


	19. Chapter 19

NOTE: This is the last of the chapters. I know this ending seemed a bit rushed. But It could have taken up a lot of time and my exams are starting next week so I really have to wrap it up. Besides remember this story was supposed to be ten chapters.

CHAPTER: Snape's Worst Memory

FIFTEEN YEARS LATER.

Severus sat in his office. His head was pounding. Why was it so hard? Why did he doom himself to an existence without her? Why did he make that promise? Why did she have to make a son that was James in blueprint?

He had just caught Harry in the pensieve, rampaging through his memories, probably having a good laugh. It was a particularly bad one he saw, the one that had determined the nasty rocky course his life would take thereafter

Looking back on it he knew that the moment he called her a mudblood sealed his fate with her. It was sort of like a catch-22 because she became his friend because of it but she could never be his because it. He knew now why she entertained his affections for so long. Lily had meant to save him, save him from himself. And she had done so but to her own detriment.

He took up his wand and began to replace all the memories back in his head. All of them, everyone that contained Lily was the first set he put in there. He wanted them all back where they belonged as a reminder of his mistake and what he owed her.

He remembered the last time he spoke to her. And what she said to him.

_Flashback:_

"I can't help but think that I was responsible, that you joined them in defiance of me, because I wanted the exact opposite for you."

"No," he said, his eyes on the ground. "I would never do anything to spite you."

"So why," she asked. "All these years I have wondered."

Severus sighed. "Because I was running from you and how I felt about you, I guess I just ran too far away."

"I'd say…" she said with a slight laugh in her voice.

_End flash back_

She always had a way of trying to make people feel better. Even thought he deserved to be yelled at and be called every horrible name a dictionary could produce. It had taken her life being in certain danger for him to admit, accept how he felt about her and finally tell her.

"_I worship the ground that you walk on, because you are heaven to me. The further I am from you the more I feel the need to hang on to memories that remind me of you. I was a fool to think that I could run form them, because I need them to survive."_

He remembered how her eyes softened up with tears and how she touched his face with her soft delicate hands. It was the last time she touched him. He could still remember how it felt, like this incredible warmth rushing over him, melting the ice that had gathered around his soul.

He longed for her, he had been longing for her years but she would never come to him. Instead she left him with a painful reminder of what a huge mistake he had made. A reminder that she made him promise he would take off, a reminder that caused him more pain than he could possibly imagine. Why did she doom him to take care of the miniature version of the man who stole her affections away from him?

He finally understood his mother; he was more like her than he could know. He always thought that she was weak but now he understood how much strength it took to live without the one you love. He finally understood why she refused to take care of herself, because he had done the same thing. It was only through the guidance of Dumbledore did he come to accept what had happened and the role he played in it.

But he knew he was still not strong enough because at the slightest mention of her name and he would go back into that dark place and never want to come out. That was why he promised himself years ago that he would never say her name, never put her in his head.

But teaching Harry Occlumency had done just that. The boy had a longing to know his mother and it reminded him of his own longing for her. He had to fight very hard to keep control of his emotions, to not break down in tears. He would always have to respond to such emotions with anger because they were dangerous emotions to have. It was those emotions that lead the dark lord to her. If Harry wasn't careful, it would lead to his ruin too.

He couldn't accept that because he still had to keep his promise to her. He had some vein hope that when she met him again, perhaps in the afterlife she would be proud of him.

THE END

NOTE: Come on some reviews will be nice..

First Harry Potter fic I ever completed and longest one I ever wrote.


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